


Where We Land

by Gummiebear



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gummiebear/pseuds/Gummiebear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Zayn wants to sleep the summer away, Louis wants to mold the minds of children, Harry does his best Baywatch impression, Liam is the greatest thing since slice bread, and all Niall wants is some more nachos. Oh and maybe a romance or two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where We Land

**Author's Note:**

> This is my baby, my first ever 1D fic. I didn't expect it to be this long and daunting to complete. I blame Zayn and Liam for making me write this, it's just easier that way. I also blame Ed Sheeran and Fleetwood Mac.

It was finally summer. After months and months of endless schoolwork and lectures, Zayn was finally free. He now had the next two months to rot away doing absolutely nothing. Logically he could look for a job so he had money to spend on his nights out with Louis, but that seemed like too much hard work right now. Instead Zayn vowed to stay in his room the whole entire time, only leaving for food and maybe human interaction once in a while. Even then he didn't need to leave his room for that, he could just call or text Louis if he needed to speak to the outside world. Yep, he made the right decision to not leave his room. All he needed was around him, a TV, computer, and an air conditioner that worked perfectly. 

"You're really going to rot away in here all summer?"

"Doniya!" Zayn shrieked at the intrusion from his older sister. "Get out!"

"No," she replied firmly and sat by her brothers feet as he lazily laid on his bed. "I should be the one wasting my life away, not you. I literally just graduated from college."

"I know," he mumbled. "I was at the ceremony."

"I hate how mom and dad are letting you rot all summer. I have to look for a job while they ship Safaa and Waliyah to camp," she scoffed. 

Zayn placed his hands behind his head and smiled up at his sister. "It's good to be  
the only boy I guess."

"Ugh," she groaned and slapped his feet that dangled next to her. "So not fair."

*****

"Mom, what are you doing?" Zayn asked, sleepily. He was peacefully passed out, enjoying his first full day of summer vacation. He was rudely awakened by his mother though, she was banging around his room. "Mom?"

"I'm packing you a bag," she answered and continued to move about his room. 

"Umm why?" He asked and sat up, his eyes following his mother's every move. 

"I got you a job at the summer camp Safaa and Waliyah are going to," she answered and stopped her movements. She looked around the room carefully, placing her hands on her hips and hummed to herself. "What am I missing?"

"An explanation!" He shrieked. "Mom, I don't want to work at the summer camp. That wasn't part of my plans."

"Louis is going too," she told him and beamed when she remembered what she forgot. "Your sketch book. You're working as the art counselor."

"Mom," he groaned. This definitely wasn't part of his plans. "I don't want to be a camp counselor, that's so lame."

"Zayn," she called to him and stuffed all his available art supplies in the duffle bag. "You will not waste your entire summer in this room. Your father and I did not raise you like that."

"I'll find a job then," he offered weakly. 

"I already found you one," she reminded him, dropping the bag by the foot of the bed. She made her way to where Zayn was still lying on the bed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Baby, I know this isn't your ideal summer plans but it'll be good for you. Like I said, Lou will be there too."

"I hate him," he mumbled under his breath. "Some best friend he is."

"You'll enjoy yourself," she told him firmly. "You will go, make some money, have fun and before you know it summer will be over and you'll be back in school."

"Easy for you to say," he huffed. "You and dad will have the whole house to yourself. Well, except for Donyia, she'll be home all summer."

"Just go," she stressed. "Get up and showered. Louis will be here within an hour."

Zayn huffed as he threw his duffle bag in the trunk on Louis's car. He honestly hated how his best friend was so gung-ho on the whole summer camp experience. He arrived at Zayn's house, windows down and music blaring from his car, declaring that this was going to be the best summer ever. He had just graduated from college himself and was now free to do whatever he wanted to. Zayn wished he had that care free spirit, he  
had a year left of studies and was freaking out about his future plans. His sisters immediately joined in on the singing and joyous wonderment once Louis took off towards Connecticut. They had the next hour and a half ahead of them on the road. 

"Why are you okay with this?" Zayn finally asked Louis. 

They were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic on the I95, both his sisters fast asleep  
in the backseat. The music was finally turned down to an annoying hum, the breeze coming through the windows was now hot and gross, sweat sticking to their arms. 

"We have the next two months to ourselves. No parents, no rules. We're in charge of our destines," Louis beamed as he played an offbeat tune on the steering wheel. 

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?" Zayn asked. 

"Z, think about it. We get to mold the lives of the future of America," Louis laughed. Zayn looked over at his friend and raised his eyebrows, who was sitting next to him spewing out all this nonsense? "Honestly though, bro. It'll be me and you and nature and hopefully we'll be working with someone attractive."

"Louis," he groaned, knowing exactly how his friends brain worked by now. "Keep it in your pants this summer, honestly. It's our job after all and my sisters will be there, too."

"I can't make any promises," he told his agitated friend as traffic finally began to move again. 

*****

Zayn dragged himself along as he and the rest of the camp counselors were given a tour of the camp grounds. He arrived twenty minutes earlier, dropped off his sisters at their respective bunks before being shown his. He was lucky enough to be bunking with Louis and one other guy, Niall. The blonde seemed fine, he found everything Louis said to be absolutely hilarious, hopefully that would die down quickly. Here he was though, walking through the spacious area and tried to pay attention as best as he could. The head counselor, Simon, kept going on and on about rules and regulations. Louis kept whispering to him, counting how many he could break by weeks end. Halfway through the tour he was finally showed his room, the art room. He was going to be sharing it with another counselor, Rebecca. The two of them were in charge of at least three classes a day, one for each age group. The only upside to the whole camp experience, Zayn would only see his younger sisters whenever they had a class with him. Campers were not permitted to visit a counselors cabin without permission from Simon first, and vise versa. 

"Z, did you see who I'm sharing a class with?" Louis asked once they got back to  
their bunks. 

Zayn sat on his bed, the springs creaking under his small frame, as he threw a ball up, hitting the ceiling and catching it once it fell. Niall was decorating his end table with pictures of who Zayn assumed was his friends and family back home in Boston. 

"The fit dude with the curly hair," Louis elaborated. "How am I supposed to concentrate for the next two months while I'm working beside him?"

"You talking about Harry Styles?" Niall asked. "He's a cool dude, met him last year actually. He's from around here in Connecticut. Use to be a camper until a few years ago."

"Niall," Louis called to him, a smirk wide on his face. He threw his arm over the blondes shoulders. "You may be my new best friend."

Zayn rolled his eyes, they weren't even at the camp for a full day and Louis already had set his sights on a helpless fellow counselor. Poor Niall didn't even know what he was doing by giving Louis all the information he had on Harry. And poor Harry didn't even know what hit him, Louis had already staked his claim on him. He wasn't going to get out of this summer alive. 

"What do you teach, Niall?" Zayn asked, hoping to save him from Louis wrath. 

"Music," he answered and cocked his head towards his guitar case lying by the wall opposite his bed. 

"That's sweet," Louis marveled, moving his arm from Niall's shoulder and sauntered over to the guitar case. "So Niall, tell me about this start of the summer party I heard being whispered about."

Niall shrugged his shoulders as he fixed the pillows on his bed. "It's just something the counselors do every year. Once the campers and Simon are all asleep we pick someone's bunk to hang out in."

"Made your decision for this year yet?" Louis asked and looked back at Zayn who just shook his head no. He could clearly read his friends mind by now and it wasn't good.

"Not yet," he answered with a shrug. "Last summer was Harry and his roommate, Liam. That's who I'm working with this year."

"Well, seeing that I'm the fresh meat around here, I would like to throw the party this year," Louis offered. "If that's okay with you of course."

"No," Zayn quickly protested and loudly hit the ceiling with the ball. "Lou, no."

"Umm," Niall stammered and looked between the two friends who kept exchanging looks. "I don't know."

"Think about it," Louis told him. "Zayn and I are new here, this could be our only chance to prove to the other counselors that we're serious about this summer. Why not prove it with a little get together in our bunk?"

"Sure," Niall agreed. "I'm on lunch duty with Harry and Sophia this afternoon so I'll let them know."

"Excellent," Louis replied, a smile on his face as he stuck his tongue out at Zayn. "Get ready gentleman for the party of your lives."

After putting it off for as long as he could, Zayn finally finished unpacking all his things. He knew the longer he put it off the longer he could accept that he really wasn't at the camp. Before he went down to the mess hall, Niall explained that the first day was always boring. There wasn't much to do but unpack and explore the camp grounds. The next day was when everything really began, once all the campers had arrived and were ready for the rest of the summer. Zayn still couldn't get over Louis volunteering their room for the counselors little gathering. He didn't want to be there in the first place and now he had to mingle with everyone. All because Louis wanted to get into Harry's pants, some best friend he was. 

Zayn was getting cabin fever already, the room was stuffy and hot. That was another thing he had to get use to, no air conditioner for the whole summer. He really wished he had his cell phone, well, he had it but he didn't have any service. He couldn't surf the web and just pass the time on his Facebook or Twitter. If he needed to contact home he needed to head to the main office and make a call on their phone. If he needed to see his sisters he needed to tell Simon who would contact their bunk leaders. It all seemed a bit ridiculous. To pass their time before the epic party later that night, Louis and Zayn decided to do some exploring of the camp grounds. Zayn wanted to get acquainted with this art room while Louis wanted to check out the soccer/baseball field. Honestly, he was just hoping Harry would show up after his shift in the cafeteria. Whatever made him happy was Zayn's philosophy.

Zayn entered the art room and it was completely bare. Supplies were scatter haphazardly around the desks and easels were lined up against the back wall. For such a small room it was filled to the brim with endless supplies. Paints, pencils and markers, and charcoals. If he was being honest with himself, Zayn could really enjoy his summer in this room. Rebecca had a similar idea because after more investigation Zayn noticed that she had put post it notes on a few things, making small notes to herself. From just first impressions Zayn could see himself getting along just fine with the girl. She looked like a conventional artist while Zayn was more into cartoons and graffiti. It was good to see how they'd bounce off each other, seeing they clearly had two different philosophies on art. 

"This is not the music room."

Zayn dropped the pencils in his hand, the wood making a clanking noise as it hit the floor. He slowly turned around, hoping that the intruder didn't notice how easily he was startled. 

"Sorry," the guy apologized. "Th-this was the music room last year, I-I just assumed."

"It's okay," Zayn assured him. He took this guy in and thoroughly enjoyed what he saw. He was wearing a black wife beater that was a little baggy on him and jeans that hung a little low on his hips, a small sliver of his boxers showing when he raised his arms to scratch the back of his neck in what Zayn assumed was embarrassment. "I think the music room is a few doors down, next to the bathrooms."

"Of course," the guy groaned, throwing his head back. "I get stuck with the shit room once again."

"You've worked here before?" Zayn asked and tried to distract himself quickly. He was now staring at the guy in front of him, making himself uncomfortable with now much of a creep he probably seemed. The pencils! Ah yes, there were pencils scattered along the floor. Time to pick them up, Zayn.

"This is my third year," he answered. "I use to be a camper when I was younger. Why not give back, you know?"

Zayn looked up at the stranger through his eyelashes as he continued to pick up what he dropped. Wow, even from this position he was disgustingly attractive. "Y-yea. My sisters have been coming here for the last few years and I decided to join in on the fun this year."

"That's nice of you," he told him honestly, smiling from ear to ear which caused the cutest crinkles by his eyes. "I'm Liam by the way."

"Zayn," he introduced himself and stood up, placing the pencils back where they  
belonged. 

"So I assume you're the art teacher this year with Rebecca," Liam guessed. "She's an epic talent, you must be good enough to keep up with her."

Zayn shrugged his shoulders, so it was known around camp that Rebecca was a great artist. Perfect, just what he wanted to know the day before he began teaching. "I just dabble, nothing serious. You're teaching music?"

"Yep," he nodded. "Studying it at school too."

"So you probably know Niall then?" Zayn asked as Liam nodded. "He's a cool dude, I'm actually bunking with him and my boy Louis."

Liam nodded as he looked around the room, biting his bottom lip as he did so. "I-I should head to my room and rearrange it how I like it before Niall attacks. I'll see you around?"

"Yea," Zayn assured him and shook the hand Liam offered him. "Umm actually my bunkmates and I are throwing that welcome to camp party if you're interested in coming."

"I'll try," he assured him. "That's really not my scene but I was forced to go to last years seeing it was in my room. But, yea, I'll try."

"So, I guess I'll maybe see you later," Zayn laughed before Liam gave him a final wave before he exited the room.

 

*****

Bodies were pressed in close around the bunk a little after ten at night, the party Louis so epically wanted to throw got out of hand rather quickly. Zayn didn't even realize there was that many counselors in the entire camp. Sure enough almost all of them showed up and were squished into his tiny little cabin. Liquor that was smuggled in by the counselors that were old enough to purchase it was being passed around. Zayn had never seen so many people in one room in his entire life. It was all a little overwhelming. Louis was the perfect party host though, mingling with everyone like he'd been there for years. He tried to grab Harry's attention any chance he got, but the younger boy was too  
distracted by everyone else pulling him around. That didn't discourage Louis though, he just took it as a challenge and Zayn knew Louis Tomlinson loved a challenge. 

Zayn kept looking around for Liam, hoping for a sign of the boy he met that afternoon. He knew he wasn't making him up because he heard Niall mention him that morning and he could've sworn Harry spoke about him to another counselor. He couldn't let a complete stranger and a random meeting effect him though, Louis was giving him a look right now. A look that Zayn knew that would cause him trouble. You aren't friends with someone for eight years and not know what certain looks mean. Zayn knew he was being a bad host and not mingling with people like Louis and Niall were, it was obvious they were people people. They just had that type of personality that people were drawn to. That's what drew Zayn into Louis back in high school, his laugh echoed the halls and he never had an issues with anyone. 

"Look alive, Malik," Louis told him, snapping his fingers in front of his face. "You can't be a wallflower at your own party."

"I'm mingling," Zayn insisted, a scowl on his face at Louis snapping fingers. He swatted them away as Louis laughed at his words. 

"Niall and I don't count," he told him. "At least pretend for my sake, okay?"

"I'm mingling," he griped, still scowling. "I was just about to talk to Rebecca about our first lesson tomorrow."

"No your weren't," Louis laughed and patted his friend on the back. "It's okay though, all I ask for is effort."

"I hate you," Zayn hissed at his friend. He grabbed a bottle of whatever was being  
passed by him and took a large swig before passing it to the eager hand to his right. 

"That's it," Louis boasted proudly. "Go and be one with the people, Malik. Your public awaits."

Zayn eventually followed Louis's instructions and decided to actually engage with the rest of the party goers. Louis always joked that he was Zayn's only friend, and at times it seemed true. He wasn't a people person, he liked to scope out people before introducing himself. He always wanted to make sure that he wasn't investing his time and effort on someone that wasn't worth his time. Niall seemed like a good guy so Zayn assumed that they'd eventually become friends. It was too early to tell. He did catch up to Rebecca and they briefly discussed upcoming lessons, she looked uninterested as he kept going on and on about all the ideas running around in his head. Okay, maybe she wasn't the huge art nerd he thought she may be. Oops. 

By the time midnight rolled around Zayn felt at little more at ease around everyone. Louis was trying his hardest to get Harry to notice him. It wasn't working well because Harry looked like he was over Louis and his boisterous nature, clearly trying to avoid him at all costs. That was a bad idea because that was just going to fuel Louis fire even more, he never took no for an answer. Zayn froze when he saw Liam walk through the door, looking a little uneasy and unsure of himself. It brought a smile to Zayn's face though. Liam was clearly in a room of people he already knew but he was still insecure around them, it warmed Zayn's heart. He felt bad for Liam, he did, but it was endearing too. 

"Hi," Liam shyly greeted Zayn when he approached him. "I finally made it."

"I-I see," Zayn nodded. Liam was still wearing the same outfit he was wearing earlier in the day, the only addition was a backwards baseball cap on his head. Yep, he was still stunning. "Well, welcome to Louis extravagant shindig."

"Which ones Louis?" Liam asked with a laugh as he scanned the crowd with his eyes. 

Zayn walked closer to Liam, putting an arm on his shoulder as he leaned in to speak to him. "The little one with the loud voice. There he is! Casually stalking his prey as we  
speak."

"Harry?" Liam squeaked with a laugh, the crinkles by his eyes returning. The simple laugh that made Liam's whole face glow partnered with the adorable crinkles by his eyes made Zayn's heart swell and more than likely skip a beat in his chest. He was so screwed. "Haz is a laid back guy, he won't pay attention to your friend if he keeps acting like he is."

"Figured as much," Zayn shrugged, arm still resting on Liam's shoulder casually. "That's Lou though, never one for subtle gestures."

"He could learn at thing or two from you," Liam offered, moving his head to face Zayn fully, a warm smile on his face. 

Zayn suddenly felt hot, feeling a blush slowly creeping up on his cheeks, starting from his neck. Liam, a boy he just met a few hours before, was flirting with him. Or at least Zayn hoped that Liam was flirting with him. Either way it was making Zayn's mind feel like mush. He didn't get crushes, especially on boys who were obviously way out of his league. "I'm go-gonna get some fresh air."

"Need me to come with?" Liam asked, his face suddenly full of concern. 

"N-no," he stammered and removed his arm from Liam's shoulder, shaking his head. "Go mingle, save your friend. I'll be back in a few."

Zayn eventually ended up outside and welcomed the cool breeze that hit his face once he was outside. The small cabin was getting to be too crowded to breathe and of course Liam just had to be Liam. Zayn found a tree stump a few feet away to sit on and just sighed as the tension fell off his back. He really wished he had a cigarette right now but Simon had confiscated them when he arrived. He wasn't even a heavy smoker, just did it to release stress. Moments like this one called for a stress release. Zayn closed his eyes and let out a few deep breathes to calm himself down, if he listened closely he could still hear Louis voice from inside the cabin. He wondered if his best friend even noticed that he wasn't even at the party anymore. He also wondered what Liam was doing, was he saving Harry from Louis?

Liam. Zayn shouldn't even worry his mind about the boy. He wasn't even at the camp for a full day and he already could feel himself having a unhealthy crush on the boy. He always knew he was gay, figured that out when he was in seventh grade. Since then he never could truly figure out his type, every boy he thought he may like was different from that previous one. Louis always laughed at him about that, saying he could never make up his mind. He had no idea what he was worrying about now though, Liam was so out of his league. He was big and bold and the perfect definition of an Adonis. So, he may have flirted with him a little but that meant nothing, Liam could've just been polite to him. Zayn had other things to worry about, like how to survive the next two months away from home and living with Louis as a bunkmate. 

"There's my favorite emo kid."

Zayn lifted his head and smiled weakly as Louis sauntered over to him. It was obvious to Zayn that his best friend had a few drinks in him, Louis always had a smirk on his face when he drank that instantly gave him away. 

"Cheer up, Malik," Louis told him and shoved him a bit so he could fit himself on the tree stump. "I scored us a couple bogies."

"H-how?" Zayn asked and immediately grabbed the cigarette that was offered to him. 

"Ed snuck them in," Louis answered and rummaged through his front pocket for matches. He lit his cigarette first and offered the matches to Zayn. "It seems we have a lot to learn from the masters, young grasshopper."

Zayn inhaled his first pull and sighed at the burning sensation in his lungs. It was a heavenly feeling, it made him feel alive and a small part of him loved the dangerous aspect of it all. Not that smoking part, he was old enough to legally be allowed to smoke, just the danger in knowing he wasn't permitted to smoke on camp property.

"What's on your mind?" Louis knocked him out of his thoughts. "Why were you sulking on a tree stump of all places?"

"Needed air," Zayn replied and inhaled again, a lazy smile around the filter of the cigarette. "Between the amount of people in there plus your ego. It got hard to breathe."

"Fuck off," Louis playfully spat at him. "You okay though?"

"Perfect," he assured his friend. Zayn watched as the bunk door opened with a loud creak as Liam, along with Harry, exited. Harry nodded his head in their general direction as his goodbye while Liam gave them a tiny wave. A simple gesture lit his insides on  
fire. 

"What was that?" Louis asked, noting the obvious shift in Zayn.

"N-nothing," Zayn stammered, an obvious tell. 

"You've got a crush on batman," Louis laughed and clapped his hands in excitement. "This is just beyond perfect, Zayn."

"Lou."

"No, no, no. This is the greatest thing I've ever seen," he continued. "You have a hard on for Harry's bunkmate and best friend. Think of all the double dates we could go on."

"Lou," Zayn repeated through clenched teeth. "Drop it."

Louis looked over at Zayn who was now hunched over, hands running through his hair, cigarette dangling from his lips. "It's dropped."

"Thank you," he told him. 

"This will be the best summer ever, though," Louis added before Zayn kicked his shin. 

*****

Zayn zoomed past his first full week at camp effortlessly, or as effortless as possible. His first day was hard to adjust to, he didn't get a decent nights sleep the night before. His mind wouldn't shut off, he kept thinking of Liam and all the mess Louis would inevitably get him into. Besides Liam running through his mind that night, Zayn couldn't get comfortable. It was hot and clammy in the room, the only air coming in was a hot and humid breeze. Louis was passed out in the bed next to him, the alcohol he consumed lulling him easily to sleep. Niall was across from him, snoring away. Before he even got a decent nights sleep his alarm went off and he had to prepare for the day ahead of him. Louis went for a morning jog around the camp before psyching himself up, he was over the moon excited to spend the entire day with Harry. Niall slung his guitar case over his shoulder before he left to start his day with Liam. 

Rebecca turned out to be a really great person to bounce his ideas off of. The first day was reasonably shaky, neither of them really knowing how the other one worked. It was good for Zayn though, his youngest sister, Safaa, was in his first class. Seeing her face put him at ease. She was already sitting in a crowd of other girls around her age and giggling like they'd been life long friends. It was good to see his sister enjoying the camp experience already. Halfway through the second class he finally fell into a rhythm with his students. It was odd to think of them like that, he was only a few years older than a lot of them. During the third and final class of the day Zayn looked out his room and saw Louis and Harry leading their class in a group jog around the grounds. Louis was a natural born leader, taking charge came easily to him. It was the older brother in him. His group seemed to be enjoying themselves as they walked, laughter could be heard from them. 

That's how the week just seemed to progress. By Wednesday the bunkmates found a schedule to follow. Louis would wake up first, go for a jog while either Niall or Zayn showered first. Louis would return, shower before heading out to meet Harry to come up this that day's lesson. Niall would fill the silence as they got ready with stories of what he did the day before with Liam or how dinner duty was with Sophia and Harry. Louis especially loved to hear any new and interesting stories where Harry was involved. Zayn tried to tune Niall out whenever Liam's name was brought up but it was hard to ignore. His brain was now trained on the other boys name. He'd only seen him once during the first week, just in passing though. Liam was helping Niall carry his equipment back to the cabin as Zayn was heading back himself. They exchanged brief greetings before Liam left to return to his bunk. 

Louis still teased him at every chance he got, especially when he found out he was on breakfast duty with him every Saturday for the rest of the summer. If Zayn could, he wished the floor would've swallowed him up when he got the news. He rather be doing the breakfast run with him, not his overly excited best friend. When Louis wasn't bothering Niall with news on Harry he was dropping obvious hints about Liam. That drove Zayn up a wall, he wanted to suffer with his crush in silence. He didn't need to bring more people into it, especially people who actually knew Liam. Saturday finally came around and Zayn had the next two days to just relax and enjoy his only days off. Louis would return from the mess hall around eleven and they both planned to lay by the lake all day and just do nothing. He was hoping he'd catch up with his sisters and see if they were doing okay, even though he'd seen both of them the day before in class. It was hard to get quality time with them though, he was always being pulled in a million other directions. 

"Now I know why you dragged me here," Zayn told Louis once they got to the lake. Sitting atop the high perch of the lifeguard chair was Harry in nothing but the required red shorts. "You going to pretend to drown, Lou?"

"Maybe," he replied with a shrug and laid his towel on the floor. "Today I was just thinking about catching a tan and observing."

Zayn laughed and laid on the towel Louis laid out for him, fixing the cap on his head. "How'd your first week with him go?"

"Z, he's awesome," Louis boasted as he took a seat next to Zayn on the towel. "He just finished his second year at University of Connecticut, he's an IT major. He wants to become the next Bill Gates or something."

"You have a proper crush on him now, don't you?" Zayn asked and looked a little bewildered as he spoke. For as long as he'd known Louis, he never once saw his friend have a crush on someone. Louis always claimed it was easier to not feel anything at all, that way you couldn't get hurt. "I'm proud of you."

"Shut up," Louis told him with a shove to his shoulder. "We all can't fall helplessly in love with everyone we meet, like you."

"Me?" Zayn scoffed. "I think you're exaggerating a bit."

"Liam," Louis said simply, a smug smile tugging at his lips. 

"Shut up," Zayn echoed Louis words from earlier. "I don't love him, I don't even know the kid."

"Well, I do," Louis told him in a sing song tone. "For the next two months I will be spending every glorious Saturday morning with him."

"Lord, help us all," he muttered under his breath. 

The afternoon turned out to be a decent one despite Louis constantly brining up Liam any chance he got. Luckily Harry got down from his perch and distracted Louis for a few minutes, the two of the them talking about the upcoming week. Zayn just continued to lay by the lake and watch as other counselors and campers just swim or relax in the sun. Niall joined them eventually, getting bored all alone in the bunk. There was only so much you could do before getting cabin fever. He caught up with his sisters briefly, both of them preoccupied with their friends to pay him much attention. Zayn noticed how Harry seemed more at ease when he spoke to Louis, no longer purposely avoiding him like he had done the week before. Maybe Harry was warming up to his friend, realizing that Louis wasn't a creep like his earlier actions had depicted. 

*****

"Where's Rebecca?" Zayn asked Simon as he walked into his art room on the Monday of his second week. 

The class was already sitting in their seats quietly as Zayn arrived, a little disheveled. He alarm never went off and Louis had to psychically shake him awake once he got back from his jog. He was running so behind that he didn't have time to shower. Now on top of arriving late he saw that Rebecca was nowhere to be found and his boss, Simon, was standing in front of the class. 

"She's come down with food poisoning," Simon explained. "She should be returning by Wednesday."

"I have to do this by myself for two days!" Zayn shouted, exasperated. He ran his hand through his limp hair, never having the chance to fix it before running to his class that  
morning. 

"You can do this," Simon assured him, patting him on the back before leaving. 

"O-okay," he sighed, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He looked at all the kids sitting before him and he was silently glad that his first class had his sister in it, a familiar face he could hone in on. "So, Rebecca is gonna be out for the next few days. I-I guess we'll forgo our plans for now. Today will just be a free day, okay?"

"I was really forward to working with charcoal today though," Abby, a tiny redheaded girl spoke up first. "Rebecca promised us on Friday."

"I know, I know," Zayn tried to quickly calm her down. "When Rebecca comes back I can promise you that we'll teach you charcoal. For now though, it's free draw. So have fun, okay?"

"Can we use paint?" Asher, another one of his student asked. 

"Y-yea. Just be careful and don't get it all over yourself," he told the boy and walked to stand behind the desk that was at the back of the room. 

Zayn was way past exhaustion when he got back to his room at the end of the day. Being in charge of over fifty kids on his own drained him. Even though he didn't do much, just made sure none of the kids caused a massive mess, it took a lot out of him. The older kids were easier to handle, they relished in the idea of doing whatever they wanted the entire time. Some of them complained, which Zayn knew they would. As soon as he got back to his bunk he just wanted to collapse on his bed and fall asleep and wake up the next morning feeling more refreshed and ready for the day. That didn't seem like an option though because Louis was sitting on Niall's bed as the two of the sang loudly to whatever tune Niall was strumming on his guitar. All Zayn wanted was an hour or two of complete silence, that really wasn't much to ask, was it? 

Instead of greeting his bunkmates Zayn went straight to the showers to hopefully wash away the long day. The hot spray from the shower hit his face and it felt heavenly, it was exactly what he needed. It made his body feel lifeless and that's what he wanted to feel, nothing. Just because day one was a success didn't mean the next day was going to be any better. These kids would end up become restless eventually and turn against him. He really hoped Rebecca felt better by Wednesday because he didn't know how long he could do this all on his own. When he finally emerged from the shower the room was empty, Niall and Louis probably heading to the mess hall for dinner. Zayn could usually eat enough food for two people but tonight he just didn't feel up to it. Instead he just crawled into his bed and willed himself to sleep. It was difficult though, the sun wasn't going to set for another two hours, leaving his room completely bright with sunlight. It was also dinner time so the grounds around his bunk was filled with people talking and laughing in loud voices.

"Zayn?"

Zayn groaned at the sound of his name being called. He thought he was peacefully asleep but you're not really peacefully sleeping if you can hear your name being called. He buried his face deeper into his pillow, willing himself to just got back to sleep. 

"Zayn, wake up."

"Fuck off Lou," he barked at his friend, praying that his eyes didn't betray him and they would stay closed. 

"It-it's Liam."

"Liam!" He squeaked and shot right up, feeling more embarrassed then before. "Li Liam, what are you doing here?"

Liam took a tentative seat by Zayn's feet on the bed. "I ran into Lou and Ni at the mess hall and they said you weren't feeling good. Just wanted to check and make sure it wasn't food poisoning too."

"I'm fine," he assured Liam and sat up, resting his back on the headboard. He tried to subtly fix his shirt that was wrinkled by the way he slept and fixed his hair that was flat on the top of his head. Talk about a great impression. "Just a long day is all."

"Your first class alone," Liam noticed. "Happened to me last year, I was working with a girl named Taylor, she's not here anymore. She was totally flaky, incredibly talented though. Anyway, she was always distracted by the other male counselors that I felt like I was working alone all year."

"That sucks," Zayn told him. "How'd you do it? I mean, get over the initial fear of  
being alone."

Liam shrugged and plucked at the duvet. "I'm just really passionate about music so I didn't look at it as a job, just that I was sharing my passion with these kids. They could tell I was one hundred percent invested in what I was teaching."

"I love art," Zayn stressed. "I just don't think these kids will be as into it as I am."

"Then make them love it," Liam told him, a smile wide on his face. 

The smile that Liam wore clenched down on Zayn's heart. A simple action that Liam tended to do so often made Zayn's mind go blank and felt like it erased whatever was bothering him. The horrible day he had? It seemed to be solved once Liam smiled at him. Zayn knew he was in trouble and he also knew that Liam was the main reason for it. 

"You're going to be okay though, right?" Liam asks, his voice full of concern as he grabbed Zayn's hand and gave it a firm squeeze. 

"Y-yea," he assured him, his voice betraying him and coming out shaky. "This just shows me that I'm glad I never wanted to become a teacher."

Liam laughed as he stood up and pulled on the hem on his shirt. "You and me both, man."

*****

"So, dude, I just walked up to him and practically demanded him to go out with me," Louis told Zayn. 

The two of them were sitting in the mess hall along with the other counselors and campers during their lunch break. Zayn wanted to stay in their room and catch up on his sleep, Rebecca was back for almost a week now and Zayn still had nightmares of the two days where he taught alone. Louis had dragged him to the mess hall though, Harry was serving lunch today, filling in for another counselor who was out sick. 

"And he said yes?" Zayn scoffed with a shake of his head in disbelief. "Bullshit. I don't believe you at all."

"Really?" Louis smirked, raising an eyebrow at the oncoming challenge. "Wanna  
bet?"

"Lou," Zayn groaned, knowing that the wheels were already turning in his friends head. 

"Hey Hazza!" Louis shouted across the room, heads turned, both counselors and campers, to see what the commotion was about. "You agreed to go out with me this weekend, right?"

Harry looked flustered, not expecting to be called out so publicly by Louis. It was obvious that he wanted to run his fingers through his hair but the gloves he was wearing and the hairnet on his head wasn't helping his case. "Umm, y-yea. We're going out this  
weekend."

"Ha!" Louis laughed in Zayn's face, smugly. 

"He looks so excited," Zayn replied dryly, rolling his eyes. 

"Fuck off," Louis spat at him, throwing his crumpled up napkin at him. "Be happy for me. It's taken me three weeks to get him to agree and it's finally happening."

"I am happy for you, Lou," he promised him and threw the napkin back at him. "It just doesn't seem like Harry is all that excited is all. Maybe he just agreed so you'll stop  
asking him."

"You're just jealous," Louis told him. "You're so hung up on Payno that you refuse to let anyone else be happy."

"Louis," Zayn groaned. "I am happy for you, honestly. How can I prove that to you? And please, stop mentioning Liam so publicly."

"I don't know what the big deal is. Honestly, Zayn, just ask him out. What's the worst that could happen?" Louis asked.

"Well, for starters I don't even know if he's gay or whatever," Zayn pointed out. "So, I refuse to embarrass myself."

"Fine, whatever," he sighed, giving in. Louis knew full well by now to not even begin to argue with Zayn, it led nowhere. They just ended up going round in circles until they ultimately forgot what they were arguing about. 

After lunch Zayn didn't stay around as Louis stayed behind to help Harry clean up the mess hall before their next class. Zayn walked to the art room by himself and arrived before Rebecca. They were going to begin teaching the older kids about painting with acrylics. The younger kids were going to have to be gradually introduced to the medium, luckily the older kids were more responsible and actually paid attention when he and Rebecca spoke. Zayn wasn't a master painter, he enjoyed free hand with pencils or a can of spray paint. In a way he left as if he was learning too. There was just  
something school couldn't teach him, even though he was going to a prestigious art school in Brooklyn. Real life experience was just better at times. Rebecca never once made me feel inadequate either. She would take the lead and it was always easy for Zayn to follow. 

The kids started to file in, Rebecca right behind them. They were quick to settle down, which was a shock. They usually had so much left over energy from just spending the last hour with each other at lunch. Waliyah, one of Zayn's younger sisters was in this class. It was great to see a familiar face at the end of the day. They hardly had time to speak or have a real, meaningful conversation but it was good nonetheless. She looked like she was enjoying herself and her experience so that was all that mattered. Rebecca  
began the lesson, just briefly going over what they were going to do and what exactly acrylic paint was. Zayn did his job by nodding along and agreeing to whatever was being said. He passed out the paints and the brushes as he was instructed to do so. He just couldn't wait until next week, they were going to do a whole week on graphic design, his expertise. 

"Zayn!"

Zayn stopped his movements when he heard his name being called. The front door was swung open with a loud bang and Harry was running into the room, noticeably out of breath.

"Zayn, you need to come down to the soccer field, quick," Harry explained in a rush, his eyes kept looking back at the door as he bounced on his heels.

"Harry, what's wrong?" He asked and noticed the entire class were on him and Harry, following them back and forth with excited eyes. 

"Safaa, your sister got hurt," he told him, biting his bottom lip as he spoke. 

Zayn dropped the paint and the brushes on the desk and swiftly moved towards the door. "Waliyah, stay. I'll take care of it."

"Keep me updated!" She shouted to her bother as he pushed Harry out the room and onto the camp ground. 

"W-what exactly happened?" Zayn asked as they jogged the few yards to the field. 

"We were staring our soccer lesson today and she said she knew how to play a little cause you and Lou play all the time," he began to explain and slowed down his jog to a  
fast paced walk. "She went to block the ball from someone shooting and it looks like she twisted her wrist back."

"Shit," Zayn cursed as he arrived at the field. "Safaa?"

"Over here," her tiny voice called to him. 

Zayn ran the few feet to his sister, who was being cradled in Louis's lap while one of the  
camp medics tended to her. He crouched down next to Louis and ran her fingers through her hair to sooth her. "You okay, babe?"

"It hurts," she winced in pain as the medic kept inspecting her right wrist. 

"It's not broken," the medic announced. Lucy, her name tag read. "Just a sprain. There's nothing we can really do for it except wrap it up and ice it."

"You wanna go home Sa?" Zayn asked as his sister sat up with the help of him and Louis. 

"No," she quickly protested. "No. I wanna stay."

"I just need her to come to my office, I need to fill out some paper work," Lucy told them. "I guess you'd need to come along too."

"Yea," Zayn replied and took Safaa by her left hand. "We'll meet you at your office, okay?"

Lucy nodded as she gathered her belongings and headed off the field. Zayn pulled Louis into a hug, a way to thank his friend for helping out his sister. He patted Harry on the back as well, they kept everyone and everything calm when chaos clearly could've happened. Twenty preteens all together and no one was panicking. The Malik siblings left the field and walked the dirt road in silence. The medical office was a few yards away, located in the middle of the campers bunks, the middle point between the girls and boys rooms. They reached the bathrooms and Safaa excused herself momentarily, she wanted to wash the dirt and tears from her face before continuing their walk.

"Everything okay?"

Zayn stopped his pacing outside the bathroom door at the sound of Liam's voice. "Y-yea."

"I heard Haz screaming your name like a madman a few minutes ago. You sure everything is okay?" Liam asked as he walked from his classroom. 

"My sister got hurt while they were playing soccer," he explained with a shrug. "Sprained her wrist is all."

"Safaa?" Liam guessed as Zayn nodded his answer. "She's a good kid, one of my best students quite frankly."

"You don't have to say that just because I'm here and she's injured," he laughed. 

"She is though," Liam stressed. "Waliyah too. Your parents clearly raised you lot well."

Zayn laughed, not knowing how to properly take the compliment. Liam just had a way of making him flustered over the simplest things. He thought that three weeks in he'd have better control over it. Sadly that wasn't the case, obviously. Zayn also knew that Liam knew that he had some kind of effect on him. Liam's eyes always shined when he laughed. To other people Liam had simple, boring brown eyes. To Zayn though, they shined just as bright and bold as Louis blue eyes. 

"Zaynie, we can go now," Safaa said, breaking the obvious awkward silence that fell between Liam and Zayn. "Hey, Li."

"Hi Saf," he greeted the girl. "How you holding up?"

"Just in pain is all," she told him. "I'll probably be out of commission for awhile though, which sucks."

"Safaa!" Zayn scolded his sister and smiled weakly over at Liam. "We-we should get going. It was good to see you again, Liam."

"You too," he told Zayn, the crinkles by his eyes appearing as he gave them both a genuine grin. "Take care of yourself Saf, I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"By Liam," she waved enthusiastically at him with her left hand as Zayn began to drag her away by the collar of her shirt. "Zaynie, slow down. I'm already injured here."

*****

The remainder of the week ran smoothly, no more earth shattering injuries occurred. Safaa was told to sit out of her physical education lessons for another three weeks while her wrist healed. Louis volunteered to stay behind with her while Harry taught the class on the field. Zayn was just glad that nothing was broke and she was able to stay at the camp. He couldn't even begin to imagine the explanation he would have to give his  
parents. That was the one thing his mother kept reminding him, he had to look out for his younger sisters while they were away. Even in a camp full of capable adults to look after them properly, he was in charge of their well being. It was something he was use to though, he didn't mind it much anymore. He had three sisters, it was his job to look after them. Even when they're more than capable of taking care of themselves, Zayn felt like it was his duty to watch out for them. 

Louis came back from breakfast with a wide grin on his face. He still loved to tease Zayn on his crush and just rubbed it in his face. Louis spent the last hour with Liam on breakfast duty and made sure Zayn knew all about it. Knew about how Liam dressed that morning, sweats and a low hanging, white, crisp, t shirt. What they talked about, which usually was either Harry or their plans for the weekend. It just seemed so easy between the two of them and that made Zayn a little jealous. He clammed up around Liam each and every time, his tongue always feeling heavy in his mouth, like he had forgotten how to speak all of a sudden. Louis never had that problem, never looked at anything that worried him as a challenge, he looked at it all as a lesson. He was fearless when it came to talking to Harry, conquering it all in under a month. 

Now Louis was rummaging through the small closest they all shared, looking for an outfit for him to wear for his night out with Harry. Counselors were allowed to leave the  
grounds on the weekends, some going home if they lived close by. As long as they returned before curfew on Sunday night. Louis was taking Harry to a movie, the newest comic book turned movie that started the day before. Zayn was jealous, they had made plans to see it together the moment they knew it was coming out, almost six months ago. Now he was going to sulk in his room along with Niall for the rest of the night. Niall was a good guy but he had tons of friends throughout the camp he could spend his Saturday nights with. Zayn was apprehensive to make friends, he got along with a few of the other counselors. Ed was his favorite, he always snuck him cigarettes when he desperately needed one. Harry was a great guy, and Liam was just in another category all by himself. 

"Cheer up, Malik," Louis told him and threw a clean shirt in his direction. 

"Why for?" Zayn asked and fixed the shirt that was thrown at him. It was his favorite Iron Man shirt he had packed. 

"You're coming with me and Harry," Louis explained and ran a hand through his hair. 

"No," Zayn quickly protested. "I will not be a third wheel on your date."

"You won't be," Louis told him and groaned as his hair seemed to not want to cooperate. "Harry's inviting Liam along."

"No," Zayn repeated as Niall laughed from his bed. "Lou, no."

"Zayn, yes," Louis laughed and smirked over at Niall who continued to laugh. "Come on, you've been dying to see this movie and now I'm giving you and opportunity to see it."

"I hate you," Zayn hissed at him, curling his hands into fists. He'd never hit Louis, not even when he had every right to, like now. 

"Surprise double date," Niall added through his fits of laughter. "Can I come just so I can see all this awkwardness play out?"

"I'll give you a detailed play by play," Louis promised him with a wink in Niall's direction.

"No you won't," Zayn barked. "I'm not going. Nope, Louis you can't do this."

"You're going," Louis stressed. He stopped trying to fix his hair and walked over to where Zayn was laying on his bed. "This is the perfect opportunity to really get to know Liam outside of the camp environment. You'll probably like him more if you get to know him better."

"I'll completely embarrass myself," Zayn whined, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "Lou, I can't believe you did this."

"He's excited to go," Louis added, smiling down at his forlorn looking friend. "He couldn't stop talking about going to see the movie, and you my friend, are an added bonus in all this."

"I hate you," Zayn spat, grabbing the shirt that was thrown at him earlier and marched into the bathroom. "I'm going but I won't enjoy myself."

"Sure," Louis nodded, not believing a single word coming out of Zayn's mouth. The water in the shower began running moments later as Louis looked behind him at Niall. "My plan is officially in motion."

"Genius, bro," Niall complimented him, applauding his bunkmate. 

Zayn sat in the back of Louis car and looked out the window as cars and trees moved passed him. He felt so out of his element, Louis and Harry were carrying a effortless conversation in the front, including Liam here and there. Liam looked like the perfect picture of calm, smiling brightly when he saw Zayn waiting for him and Harry by the car. Patted his back with a confident, strong hand as a greeting. Zayn blinked and blushed, ducking his head at the touch. He didn't want to ruin this perfect opportunity to get to know Liam better but he also didn't know what to do or say to the boy. He hardly knew anything about him, he could obviously ask him questions to get to know him better but Zayn was afraid everything he said may come out stupid. Liam didn't even seem to notice that Zayn wasn't partaking in any of the conversation, he was too enthralled in whatever Louis and Harry were chatting about. 

Louis stopped at a red light and looked over at Zayn through the rearview mirror,  
raising an eyebrow at him curiously. Harry and Liam were both distracted by their phones while the friends had a silent conversation. Zayn knew all of Louis facial expressions by now and what exactly they meant. Louis wasn't happy with the lack on cooperation on Zayn's part. He stuck his neck out for his friend, inviting him and Liam along on his first date with a boy he really liked. All Zayn had done during the twenty minute car ride was look out the window and act like he wasn't interested in anything that was happening in the car. Zayn didn't mean to look or feel awkward, but he was. If it was just him and Louis, then yes, he'd be his normal bubbly self. Around Liam though, he froze, he didn't know how to act. 

"What is your problem?" Louis harshly whispered to Zayn while they waited on line for popcorn. Liam and Harry ran to the bathroom, leaving the two friends alone. 

"Me?" Zayn asked, trying to act innocent. "I don't have a problem, Lou."

"You don't have a problem," he repeated with a scoff. "You've been icing Liam out since we got in the car. What the fuck, dude?"

"I'm nervous!" Zayn shouted, causing Louis and others to stare at him in shock. He winced at that sudden attention and shook his head. "I'm nervous Lou, like I really like this kid and I don't know what to do."

"Be yourself," Louis told him confidently and patted his back as Zayn rolled his eyes and bit at his bottom lip. "I know it's cliché but it works, bud. Trust me."

"Trust me," Zayn snorted at the words. "Those words have gotten me into loads of  
trouble these past eight years."

"And they always end up being right in the end," Louis boasted as he walked up to the concession counter. "Two medium popcorn and umm three waters and a diet coke."

"You're making me share popcorn with him?" Zayn gawked and handed money over to his friend. "You're really pushing it here, Tommo."

"Can you imagine it? You're both reaching into the box and your fingertips touch, sparks ignite, and boom you're in love," Louis told him, a dream like tone to his voice, his eyes staring off into the distance. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders as he grabbed the popcorn off that counter as Zayn grabbed the drinks. "At least that's what I'm hoping will happen with Harry."

The four boys took their seats in the theater minutes before the previews began. Zayn sat next to the aisle, Liam sitting next to him followed by Louis then Harry. Zayn gave Liam a nervous smile as he showed him the carton of popcorn they will be sharing before handing him over the bottle of water he and Louis ordered for him. Zayn tried to pay attention to the screen in front of him but at times got distracted. Louis voice kept running through his head, thoughts of reaching in for the popcorn and feeling Liam's fingertips brush against his. Just the mere thought of it sent shivers through his entire body. Liam sat next to him with wide eyes as he stared at the screen in front of them, taking in the preview for some up and coming action movie that would be released around Christmas. After every preview ended Louis and Harry would whisper and discuss whether it had any potential. It was just so easy for them. 

The movie finally began and Zayn shifted in his seat to get comfortable and enjoy himself. He'd been dying to see this movie for ages and he was determined to enjoy himself. The opening fight sequence was breath taking, a cinematic masterpiece, Liam let out an impressed whistled beside him that made Zayn smile. It was good to know that he wasn't alone in his thinking. Even though he was engrossed in the movie, Zayn kept a careful eye on the popcorn that was perched on the arm rest that he and Liam shared. He didn't want to grab for it at the same time as Liam and make a bigger fool of himself. He grabbed a handful and blushed when he saw Liam's eyes watching his every move. Zayn felt embarrassed, Liam should be watching the movie not him, especially now that he had a mouthful of popcorn, that couldn't look attractive. Liam smiled widely at him and went back to watching the movie, the moment clearly had passed. 

Zayn looked passed Liam and saw that Harry and Louis hands were tangled together, Louis playing with the rings on Harry's fingers with his thumb. It was cute and made Zayn feel real happy for his friend. It was good to see that Zayn now wasn't the only one who got past Louis tough exterior. It made him hopeful, that this summer away wasn't a waste after all. Something good could and would come from it, even if it wasn't for him. The popcorn container now empty, Zayn placed in on the floor by his feet so he could comfortably rest his arm against the armrest. He wiggled his fingers, feeling them tingle like they were about to fall asleep. He had it resting in an awkward position this whole entire time, never once wanting to disrupt the perfect seating arrangement he had with Liam.

He gasped a little too loudly when he felt a cold hand grab his. He had turned his hand palm up and continued to wiggle his numb fingers when Liam casually slipped his hand over his. His once dead hand now felt more than alive, it felt like it was on fire even though Liam's hand was cold. Zayn didn't want to over think it but he always over thought everything. He quickly checked Liam's reaction but the other boy was still staring at the screen, he did have a smile on his face though, it was evident by the crinkles by his eyes. Zayn sat back and cleared his throat, willing himself to focus back on the movie. He eventually did but gripped Liam's hand tighter, it felt good, felt right, like it belonged. He had no idea what it meant but honestly, he didn't care. Liam was  
holding his hand in a crowded movie theater and everything was right in the world. 

"Liam held my hand!" Zayn shrieked to Louis after the movie.

"What?" Louis choked on a puff of smoke as he and Zayn stood outside the movie theater smoking while Harry and Liam went to the bathroom once again.

"Halfway through that movie he just reached over and held my hand," Zayn explained with a sigh, a lopsided smile around his cigarette. "Didn't drop it until the movie ended."

"Dude, he likes you," Louis realized, patting Zayn on the back with his cigarette free hand. "Congrats, bud."

"It means nothing," he was quick to wave it off. 

"It means something," Louis amended. "You don't hold someone's hand in a dark movie theater out of boredom."

"His hand was cold, maybe he needed to warm it up," Zayn explained with a half shrug of his shoulders. 

"Maybe you're stupid and need to stop thinking like that," Louis told him. "If his hand was cold he could've easily stuck it in his pocket, not held your hand. Stop doubting yourself, it's really unattractive."

*****

After the movie they all stopped for pizza before heading back to the camp ground before curfew. It was hysterical really, four twenty something's having a curfew, especially on a Saturday night. The car ride back was relatively silent, the music from the radio the only real noise. Liam and Zayn hadn't spoken since the movie ended, just little words about pizza orders and toppings, nothing earth shattering. It was driving Zayn mad, made him think he was making the hand holding up in his mind. It happened! He remembered it perfectly, how Liam's hand just fit effortlessly in his. The feel of the calluses on his fingertips as they brushed up against his. The lifeless feeling he hand in the pit of his stomach when Liam squeezed his hand before pulling away once the movie was over. It was truly the greatest forty minutes of Zayn's life. 

They got back to the camp ground half hour before the ten o'clock curfew, Louis parking the car in his designated spot. Harry volunteered to walk him back to his cabin while Zayn followed Liam back to his. It was going to be the first time they were properly alone all night. As they walked in silence Zayn had the sudden urge to grab Liam's hand again. It was just dangling by his side as they walked, begging to be held. He missed the feeling of Liam's hand and the feeling he felt inside as he held it. It was comfortable silence but it held so many unanswered questions. They arrived at the cabin and Liam stood on the top step just waiting for Zayn to make a move. Zayn stood on the step below Liam and just looked up at the boy, both of them wearing the same smile. It was an easy feeling, being around Liam. It was calming. 

"I had a good time," Liam broke the silence first. "The movie was good."

"Y-yea," Zayn agreed, biting his lip with a nervous feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach. 

"We should do it again next weekend, without Lou and Harry," Liam told him, his hand scratching at the scuff on his cheek, a nervous habit Zayn had seen him do once or twice before. 

"Y-yea," Zayn agreed again, words getting lost in his throat. 

Liam smiled at the uneasiness Zayn was feeling, it was endearing and charming. It made Zayn who he was, a bashful but charming guy. It was obvious to Liam that Zayn didn't realize the amount of appeal he truly had. Liam boldly took Zayn's hand again and pulled him in closer, Zayn now standing on his tip toes. Liam took a deep breath to calm his overly beating heart and kissed Zayn. It was chaste and short but they both could feel the electricity between them. As they pulled apart Zayn kept his eyes closed a few seconds longer, trying to replay the kiss in his mind over and over again, never wanting to forget it. 

"Goodnight," Liam said once Zayn opened his eyes again. 

"Goodnight," Zayn responded in a breathless whisper, licking his lips to still feel Liam on him. 

Zayn began to walk back to his cabin, feeling like he was floating on air. Liam had just kissed him! He just kissed Liam! It was an indescribable feeling, his lips so soft and gentle. It was a moment he was going to replay in his mind for the rest of the night, the rest of the summer even. Things were starting to look up. Maybe Zayn could get use to being at camp. 

"Zayn, hey," Harry called to him as the two boys passed each other. 

"What's up Harry?" Zayn asked, probably still wearing a goofy grin on his face. He couldn't help it, his face was now stuck like that.

"Liam's a good guy," he told him, clasping a firm hand on his shoulder. From his angle Zayn never realized how tall Harry really was. "Treat him as such."

"Ok," Zayn let out slowly, confused.

"It's not my place to tell you his life story," he began with a sigh. "But Li's been through a lot of shit, making him really vulnerable but not as open with his emotions like he use to be. He sees good in you, don't let him down. Okay?"

"Of course," Zayn nodded his head, agreeing. "I should be giving you this same speech about Lou."

"I figured as much. No one is that loud and in your face unless they have something to hide," Harry told him with a shrug. 

"Now that we had the obligatory best friend speeches out of the way," Zayn began with a laugh that eased the tension between the pair. "Have a good night, Hazza."

"You too, Zaynie," he responded before continuing his walk back to his bunk. 

Zayn continued his walk back to his bunk as well, kicking pebbles in his path as he did so. He still felt like he was floating on air, especially after he brief chat with Harry. Harry obviously knew where Liam stood when it came to his feelings for Zayn, just like Louis knew how he felt about Liam. If Liam was telling Harry things then it was obvious that he liked him. Zayn brushed his fingers over his bottom lip and still felt a slight tingle from where Liam kissed him. It was the simplest of kisses but it set his whole body on fire. He got back to his bunk to see his bunkmates sitting on his bed, just waiting for him, both wearing goofy grins on their faces. They both looked comfortable, just wearing basketball shorts as they waited in complete silence, it was kind of eerie actually. 

"So, how was it?" Niall was first to ask. "And please spare me all the details, I had to see  
Lou and Haz suck face for two minutes outside the door."

"There was no sucking face," Zayn told them, toeing off his shoes and placing them at the foot of his bed. He tossed his shirt off and threw it at the pile of dirty clothes he had piling up by his bed. He scratched at the heart tattoo by his hip absentmindedly before taking a seat on his bed. "We did kiss though."

"Yeah, buddy," Louis cheered, high-fiving an excited Niall. "Nialler, our little boy is  
growing up."

"Shut up," Zayn told him, kicking his shin. "I-I just can't believe it, you know? This morning I was so unsure of everything and now, now I feel alive."

"Oh god," Niall groaned and threw himself back on the bed, the springs creaking under his weight. "I'm going to have to deal with the two of you for the rest of the summer now."

"We're just gonna have to find you someone now," Louis added. 

"This whole male bonding is all fine and dandy," Zayn interrupted the exchange between the two other boys. "But can't you move it to someone else's bed, I'm beat."

"You're bossy when things go your way," Niall noticed, a smirk on his face. He rolled off the bed, did two push ups before standing up and crawled into his bed. "I like this new Zayn."

Louis rolled his eyes with a shake of his head, he placed a loud smacking kiss to  
Zayn's head before heading over to his bed. "Boys, today is the beginning of the rest of our summer."

"Cheers!" Niall agreed with a excited shout and fist pumped the air. 

"Please save me," Zayn muttered to the ceiling above him as his roommates booed at his words. 

*****

The first week of August flew by in the blink of an eye it seemed. All the boys fell into a rhythm with their work duties and seeing each other during their spare time. Zayn tried to spend as much time with Liam as he could, just sitting around his bunk when Harry wasn't around or sitting outside his when Louis and Niall were napping. It was great getting to know more about Liam. Getting to know the little things that made Liam who he was. Hearing his hearty laugh that lit up his whole face, a wide smile on his face and the crinkles Zayn learned to love appear by his eyes. Zayn told Liam about growing up in Brooklyn with three sisters and how he couldn't imagine living anywhere else but New York City. Liam spoke about growing up in a quiet town in Connecticut with his parents and two older sisters, who still treated him like he was a kid. When silence fell upon them Liam would pull Zayn in by either his wrist of the collar of his shirt and they'd share quick kisses. Kisses that set Zayn's insides on fire, made him feel alive. He could get lost in Liam's kiss, he probably had once or twice by now. 

Safaa's wrist was healing faster than anyone expected and she couldn't have been any more thrilled about it. The few times Zayn had seen her she had looked sullen and out of whack. Not participating wholeheartedly like she was use to really upset her. She had to observe everything that was happening around her. There was only so much Louis could do during the gym class to make the girl feel included. She did go on and on about how she adored Liam though, which warmed Zayn's heart. His sisters didn't know about the two of them being together just yet but Liam still incorporated his younger sisters. Nowadays Louis wore his goofy smile more often, especially when he was around Harry. Those two were sickening, acting like they'd been together for years and just had this epic reunion. Zayn was more worried about his first alone date with Liam, Louis was letting them borrow his car to drive into the city for a nice quiet dinner for just the two of them.

"That's how you met Louis!" Liam gawked at Zayn, eyes wide, not believing a single word coming out of the other boys mouth. Other patrons at the restaurant were starting to look over at him but Liam was so wrapped up in Zayn and their conversation that he hardly noticed. 

"Yea," Zayn responded with a nod. "My older sister had a couple classes with him back in junior high and elementary school and had a major crush on him. She still calls him the one that got away."

"That-that's just priceless," Liam marveled, still in awe of the story. "But how did you two become friends? Did Doniya introduce you two?"

"No," Zayn began with a deep breath. How he actually became friends with Louis was a long and rather complicated story. "Lou's two years older than me, well technically a year and some weeks but because of his birthday falling so late in the year he didn't start school until a year later. So, I always knew who he was because of my sister but I didn't actually meet him until high school."

Liam looked on as Zayn retold the epic story about how he and Louis met and eventually became friends. Zayn caught Liam smile or laugh as he spoke, showing just how interested in the conversation he truly was. Zayn was never one to hold full conversations, he only spoke when he felt like it was needed, he never divulged information just for the sake of a conversation. It was hard when your best friend loved to hear the sound of his own voice. Growing up in a household with three siblings, it was hard to get a word in edgewise. Liam just looked on and intently listened as Zayn went on and on about Louis and eventually ended up talking more about his family and school and what he was studying at Brooklyn Tech. It was a nice change of pace for Liam, listening instead of doing all the talking. 

"So, how'd you meet Harry?" Zayn finally asked, he took a large bite of his lasagna and smiled around the fork.

"Good?" Liam asked with a laugh as Zayn nodded enthusiastically. "I met Haz when I was about twelve. I went to the camp as a kid and became a counselor a few years ago, when I was eighteen."

"So you've been coming for almost ten years now," Zayn realized. "That's dedication."

"When I started Simon was a music counselor," Liam said. "He was an awesome teacher, much better at running the place though."

"Simon was a counselor?" Zayn gawked with a laugh. "I need to hear those stories one day."

"Yea so I met Haz when we were kids, not knowing he lived just a few towns over from me. We just clicked somehow even though we're complete opposites. I love the kid though," Liam continued, a fond smile on his face as he spoke about his friend. "Niall came into the picture a few years ago. He's been my fellow music counselor for about three years now."

"The dynamic between you three is bizarre," Zayn noticed. "Reminds me of my relationship with Lou though. I like it."

"Yea, those two are like the brothers I never had," Liam added. "They helped me a lot when Soph and I broke up last year."

"Wait what?" Zayn asked, shaking his head. Maybe he heard wrong, maybe he wasn't hearing anything at all. "Did you just say something about Sophia? Like the Sophia who works at that camp?"

"Y-yea," he answered, unaware of the turmoil Zayn was feeling inside the pit of his stomach. "We dated for about a year. She just dumped me as soon as we got to camp last year. It was hard, seeing her everyday and whatnot. Luckily we've gotten past it and are good friends now."

"So, you dated Sophia, who works with us, for about a year and broke up last year?" Zayn asked, it sounded more like he was trying to repeat everything Liam was saying so he could believe what he was actually hearing.

"Yep," Liam quickly verified what Zayn said and went back to eating his dinner. "Why? Is-is something wrong?"

"N-no," he assured him, the smile he was wearing the majority of the night now gone. He wasn't mad at Liam, he had no right to be. He was just confused, lost, a lot of emotions he couldn't even name. "We all have exes, Liam. Just didn't expect to actually know one of yours is all." 

The next day, Sunday, Zayn was lying by the camps lake alongside Louis. The rest of the night before was relatively normal, Zayn knew he was more closed off then he was during the beginning of the night but he hoped Liam didn't pick up on it. He just had a lot on his mind honestly. Thoughts of Liam and Sophia being a happy couple for a year and how Sophia and he just ended and now were friends. It was all just too strange for Zayn. It didn't bother him that Liam had girlfriends or wasn't one hundred percent gay, that was a non- issue for him. Just the fact that they'd barely began dating themselves and now Zayn was faced with pictures and ideas of Liam and his exes, and now he knows one of  
them. He got directly into his bed once Liam dropped his off the night before. They shared a quick kiss, even though he was upset, the kiss still set Zayn's inside on fire. 

Since he got back from his date Louis had been looking at Zayn oddly. He knew right away something was wrong with his friend. He also knew that whatever was wrong he wasn't keen on speaking up about it around Niall. The blonde was a great guy, and instant friend, but there was just some things Louis and Zayn didn't speak about in front of him. Louis let him sleep though, after knowing his car was still in one piece and working fine. He just watched as Zayn sighed into his pillow before closing his eyes and willing himself to sleep. It broke Louis's heart, to see his friend so broken up and frankly, lost. That's why as soon as they both awoke on Sunday Louis forced Zayn to change into his swimsuit and go to the lake with him. 

"What's wrong?" Louis asked as they lied on their beach towels. 

Zayn looked over at Louis and shield her eyes from the sun with his hand. "I'm fine, Lou."

"No you're not. You're sulking," he noticed. "I hate to see you like this. Last time I saw you like this was when Jay broke up with you right before senior prom."

"That was shitty of him to do," Zayn remembered with a sigh and removed his hand from his eyes. "I'm fine though."

"Fine," Louis gave in. It was useless to pry information from Zayn when he got like this. Louis was always up for a good argument but sometimes he just knew when to pick his battles. "How was the date last night?"

"Fine," Zayn answered and moved so be was lying on his stomach. 

"Another vague answer," he noticed with a shake of his head, hair falling in front of his eyes. "Yep, something is up."

"Liam use to date Sophia," Zayn finally said, looking directly at Louis. As expected he got the reaction he knew he'd get. Louis stared down at him, eyes wide and mouth open in shock. "Yes, the Sophia that works here. Yes, the Sophia who's on dinner duty with Niall and Harry."

"Holy shit," Louis let out slowly, eyes still wide. "Like how did you find out?"

"He was talking about Harry and Niall and their friendship and just dropped the bomb," Zayn explained. "We all have exes, I get that, but to see his everyday. What am I supposed to do?"

"Suck it up," Louis guessed, shrugging his shoulders. "I really don't know what to say, Z. Just that this all must suck for you."

"It's the worst," he groaned and buried his head in the crook of his elbow, muttering nonsense to himself. 

Louis felt bad for his friend, simple as that. He ran his fingers through Zayn's hair to comfort his friend. It must've been a shock to him to know about Liam's past relationship with a person he'd have to see everyday for the at least the next three weeks. Someone he had little to no issue with. Sophia was a good person, kept to herself and her friends, not really causing any issues. Louis also knew that deep down Zayn was overreacting, but he was still unsure about his relationship with Liam. Everything was all so new and fresh, one false move could shift the dynamic entirely. All Louis could do was listen to Zayn work through his feelings and be a supportive friend, even though he wanted to judge Zayn and all his nonsense.

 

*****

"You know how Harry has those tattoos by his hips? Well, if you lick them  
he makes this beautiful sound-"

"Oh my god, Lou," Zayn groaned. "That is way too much information to be sharing at dinner or anytime for that matter."

"Yea," Liam agreed. "There are certain things I don't want to know about my best friend."

"What!" Louis gawked, pretending to be offended at the protests. "We're bonding, isn't this what people do when they bond?"

"No," Zayn shook his head. "Especially when we're around children."

"How do you even know the sounds Harry makes?" Liam asked, curiosity getting the best of him. The look on Louis face spoke volumes though as Liam nodded, now understanding. "Y-yea I should've left that alone."

"It's okay babe," Zayn assured him, quickly kissing his cheek. "Lou sets people up like this all the time. He lives off of people's reactions."

"It's true," Louis agreed, a wicked grin on his face as Niall and Harry walked over to their table. 

"Do I wanna know why you're smiling like that?" Harry asked and took a seat next to  
Louis. 

"No," Liam and Zayn answered together which got the whole table to laugh. 

It was easy like this, all five of them hanging out together. It rarely happened, they all had been so busy during the week but they made sure to spend at least one dinner a week together. Harry and Louis were attached at the hip, as were Liam and Zayn. They never once wanted Niall to feel left out so they made the weekly dinner mandatory. The conversations never got dull or boring, they took this time to get to know each other. Know who they all were outside of the camp environment. Harry, Niall, and Liam shared stories of how things were years before at the camp. Louis always provided an embarrassing story about Zayn that made him blush and hide his face in Liam's shoulder. Payback was a bitch though as Zayn gladly returned the favor, making Louis squirm in his seat more than once. 

Teaching had become easier too. Zayn took the reigns of the class at least twice a week now, Rebecca was more proficient in art but she began to trust Zayn more with the lessons. He was able to teach the kids about graphic design, the one thing he was the most passionate about. Rebecca was the more traditional artist, she studied the classics in college like Picasso and Van Gogh. Louis took to teaching as well, working closely with Harry helped as well. Zayn just had to laugh at it all at night while he sat on his bed with Louis right across from him. At the beginning of the summer his mother literally had to drag him out of his summer slump to come to the camp. Now he was having the time of his life with his best friend and a boy he was crazy about. He never expected to make the friends he did and build the relationships he was building. Zayn found himself opening up to more people as time passed. Ed was a good guy too, besides sneaking him and Louis cigarettes when they need them the most. 

The summer was slowly coming to an end soon. Two and a half more weeks of this routine and Zayn was back in New York, back to school and his regular day to day life. He tried to forget about it but it was facing him each and every time he saw Liam. He was eventually going to have to face reality, a reality where he wasn't going to see Liam all the time. He had to forget about it though, at least for now. He still had time left to live at camp and he was going to savor it. Even if that meant getting up way too early on Saturday mornings to eat breakfast as Louis and Liam served it. Zayn was determined to live the full camp experience. After breakfast they all laid by the lake as Harry donned his red shorts and acted as the life guard. Saturday nights were either date nights or a group outing, they explored the city around them. Liam or Harry usually acting as their tour guides. 

"You're quiet," Harry noticed as he and Zayn sat around a dinner table while the other three boys had their own conversation. 

"I'm fine," Zayn replied with a shrug.

"Just because I'm Liam's friend doesn't mean you can't talk to me," Harry told him. "If anything, I'm the best person to talk to."

"What's gonna happen when the summer ends?" Zayn asked and watched as Harry opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly. Zayn nodded at Harry's silence, a scoff escaping his mouth. "Exactly."

"C-Connecticut isn't that far from New York," he finally replied. "Li and I can always make a long weekend out of it and see you and Lou."

"You really think it's that easy?" Zayn laughed at his ignorance. Whether Harry was playing a fool or not, Zayn didn't know, but he knew Harry wasn't thinking logically. "Between school, work, and real life, there will be no time to see each other."

"Zayn," Harry sighed. "Don't think about it, yea. We still have plenty of time to figure it all out when it comes. For now let's just enjoy each other's company."

Zayn looked across the table and smiled at his boyfriend and best friend laughing and smiling along with Niall. For a quick moment he thought that Harry was right, why did he need to worry. He had all he ever wanted in front of him. Nothing could rain on his parade, but reality did. Reality always found a way to screw him over. 

"What?" Liam asked when he noticed Zayn staring at him. He tried to dodge Louis hand as it went for his nipple, trying to twist it between his fingers. "Lou! Honesty, five seconds of adulthood is all I ask."

"You're no fun, Payno," Louis pouted which got Harry to coo and reach across the table and kiss his mouth. 

Niall jokingly gagged at the scene next to him and laughed as Harry placed a loud smacking kiss to his forehead. Yep, this was exactly what Zayn was afraid to lose in a few weeks.

"Babe," Liam called to him again, knocking him out of his thoughts. "Everything alright?"

"Y-yea," he replied, shaking his head and forcing himself to smile even though he knew that Louis could tell something was wrong with him. 

*****

"Stop moving."

Zayn squirmed as he tried to get comfortable on his bed. Unfortunately it wasn't working because Liam couldn't stop trying to tickle his sides. "I'm gonna fall off this bed."

"Stop moving," Liam repeated between laughs. "Babe."

"Liam!" Zayn exclaimed, grasping Liam's hands between his. "It's quiet time, we don't get that often."

"Where are the two other Musketeers?" Liam asked, a giggle bubbling in this throat as he tried to wiggle his hands free from Zayn. 

"Your bunk is free so Louis is there and the hell if I know where Niall is," he answered and begrudgingly released Liam's hands. "This is nice, yea?"

Liam looked down at Zayn, his head resting comfortably on his chest, rising as he breathed. It was a picture perfect moment, one they rarely got. They were always getting pulled in a million different directions, whether it be work or their friends. A moment alone was to be treasured.

"Liam?"

"Yea," he hummed in reply, kissing the top of Zayn's head. "This is nice."

"We won't be getting much of these soon," Zayn noted somberly, burying his face into Liam's shirt. 

"Hey," Liam called to him and ran a lazy hand through Zayn's tangled hair. "Let's not think like that. For now, we have all the time in the world."

"You better not be having sex right now," Niall's voice echoed through the bunk as he entered, his hand covering his eyes.

"You're fine, Ni," Liam assured him with a laugh. 

"Good," he responded with a sigh and removed his hand from his eyes. "I may have accidentally walked in on Haz and Lou the other day. There's not enough soap in the world to erase that from my mind."

Zayn laughed into Liam's shirt and shook his head. "Dinner's over already?"

"Yep," Niall answered and maneuvered himself around the bunk carefully. "Just came to get my guitar, I'm meeting Ed so we can rehearse for the end of the summer talent show."

"That's actually a thing?" Zayn asked and scooted over so he was lying on his back next to Liam. "I thought that was just a rumor."

"Nope. We get real cheesy in this camp," Liam laughed. "The last night consists of a talent show and an epic bonfire out by the lake."

"You doing anything?" Zayn asked Liam as Niall waved his hand in a goodbye before exiting. 

"Maybe," Liam replied with a smirk. Zayn rolled his eyes as the response. "I'm thinking about it. What about you, you gonna do something?"

"I'm working on a jazz routine."

Liam raised an eyebrow in curiosity. He couldn't read Zayn's face to see if he was being sincere or not. He soon figured it was a joke when Zayn snorted and laughed, his tongue between his teeth trying to stop another laugh from escaping his lips. "You're an ass, Malik."

*****

Camp was slowly coming to a close and Zayn was trying to embrace whatever time he had left. He realized he was doing everything backwards, diving into the experience at the last minute. It was better late than never though. His sisters were having a hard time adjusting, they were excited to go home but didn't want to leave all their friends behind. Zayn knew the feeling, he wasn't leaving alone, he had Louis at his side the whole time. He never openly shared his feelings with Liam, he didn't want to worry him. Things were good between them, Zayn was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for either of them to make the first move and end it all. It was only inevitable, long distance wasn't going to work. Louis swore that he and Harry were going to try but Zayn scoffed at the idea. 

It seemed as if Liam was already trying to get use to the distance, he was so unavailable lately. He swore it was because he was rehearsing for the show but Zayn knew better. Zayn knew that Liam was too kind to dump him so he was just waiting for Zayn to do it. He didn't want to be the bad guy though, that was an image he'd always had growing up but he wanted to change it, show the real him. When they were together though things seemed the same. Neither of them wanted to admit defeat so they just kept on trucking, being the perfect couple the rest of the camp expected. The moments they had alone they both tried to treasure and appreciate, savoring every second of it. The moments in between classes where they just sat in art room and talked about their day so far or just eating a meal with the other counselors. 

"What are you doing?"

Zayn had an apple in his mouth and hummed around it as Harry and Louis sat down in front of him. He raised his eyebrows at the duo, confused.

"With Liam," Harry clarified and shook his head at Louis. "Babe, we agreed we weren't going to bombard him."

"With Liam," Zayn repeated after he finished chewing. "I'm not doing anything."

"You're cold," Louis told him. "Do you not like him anymore? Because the Zayn I saw a month ago literally lit up like a Christmas tree at just the mention of his name."

"Lou," Zayn groaned at his friend, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. He remembered the feeling he had at the mere mention of his boyfriends name. He still felt that,  
the butterflies in his stomach, the feeling like his breath was caught in his throat. 

"Like that," Louis said, pointing at Zayn. "I've never seen you like that before, not in the whole time I've known you."

"Liam looks the same," Harry agreed. "He may look like a brick wall but he's just a big softy once you're mentioned. It's cute to see."

"So what are you doing?" Louis repeated. "You're acting like an asshole, Z."

"Am not," he answered with a tight jaw. "You're the one who's an asshole right now, Lou."

"Okay," Harry let out slowly, noticing the obvious tension in the air. "Whatever is happening needs to be solved quickly. That's my two cents."

"Why don't you ask your friend Liam what he's doing?" Zayn countered, looking directly at Harry. He was the only one acting like a mature adult at the moment. He began picking at the raisins on his tray, trying to distract himself. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Louis asked. "Did you two have a fight no one is aware of?"

"We're fine," Zayn grumbled and continued plucking at the food. "Everything is fine."

"Good," Harry concluded confidently. He stood up and shook his hair out of his eyes  
before tugging on Louis shirt to pull him up. "Let's go and leave Zayn to eat alone."

Louis reluctantly stood up and narrowed his eyes as he looked directly at Zayn. He looked so despondent and lost, reminded him of a Zayn he once knew. The kid who looked lost in the world, just letting things happen around him and not participating in life. Louis felt sorry for that kid, the kid wanted so desperately to be heard even though he refused to speak unless spoken to. Years of experience and confidence turned that kid into the Zayn who sat in front of him, Louis just couldn't find him right now. 

"I'm fine," Zayn stressed, reading Louis face perfectly. "Just getting lost in my own head is all."

"I know," Louis sighed. "Stop it. We both know how you get if you keep getting lost."

"I'll be fine," he assured him one last time. "Go, enjoy the rest of the afternoon with Haz."

Louis nodded and took the hand Harry offered him before they left the mess hall. Louis looked over his shoulder one last time before leaving Zayn be. He was just being a concerned friend was all. 

"Does he get like this often?" Harry eventually asked as they still walked along the  
camp ground. 

"He hasn't been like this since high school," Louis answered and smiled up weakly at Harry. "His jerk of an ex broke up with him right before prom. He tried to play it off like he didn't care, but he did. He cared too much was his real problem."

"What he do?" Harry asked. 

"Pushed everyone away," Louis answered, his voice low as he rehashed the memories. "He pushed and pushed and pushed. Luckily, no one budged but he just kept trying. Said something about how it was easier to lose everyone at once instead of gradually over time."

"He's doing that with Liam," Harry noticed as they passed the lake.

"Yea, I know," Louis nodded. "I don't even think he knows he's doing it. It's become so instinctual with him, like breathing. Sabotaging things is second nature for Zayn."

"He's gotta break out of that habit," Harry said as he began to swing his hand that held on to Louis's. "I mean I don't know him as well as you do, obviously, but that doesn't seem healthy."

"Just be prepared for him to start to ice you out, Niall too," he informed him. "We only have a week or so left of camp. He's dead set on burning all these bridges so he can leave without any attachment."

"Noted," Harry nodded as they finally reached his bunk. Liam could be seen sitting on his bed, headphones on as he had a small portable keyboard on his lap. "You think Li has any idea of what's going on?"

"No clue," Louis shrugged. 

*****

"Up and at 'em boys!" Niall's voice rang out throughout the bunk early in the morning. "Today marks the beginning of the last week here."

Zayn flopped back on is bed and groaned as it creaked under his weight. Two months later and he still hadn't gotten use to the obnoxious noise. "How are you so jolly this early?"

"You still need to ask that?" Louis laughed from his bed. He jumped up, stretched his arms above his head before beginning his morning routine. "Ni is a walking cup of coffee, not fair."

"I'm joining you on your run this morning," Niall informed Louis as he laced up his sneakers. "I'm starting this week off right, ending it with good karma."

Zayn tried to go back to sleep as Louis and Niall geared up for their morning run. It didn't happen though, the two of them made enough noise to wake up the entire camp ground. He waved his goodbye as he got up and headed for the shower. Today started the beginning of the end, the last week of camp. He had to teach until Friday, Saturday was the talent show and bonfire and he and Louis along with his sisters were driving home on Sunday. He was excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had a week at home for peace and quiet before going back to school and starting his last year of college. He was ready to say goodbye to the camp and the whole experience. This was not the summer vacation he had planned back in June. 

He was showered and dressed once Louis and Niall returned, food in their hands. He downed his bagel and coffee as he made his way to the art room. That room was the main thing Zayn was going to miss. The countless supplies and access to all things art all at his disposal. He would sneak up to his roof back in Brooklyn and sketch the New York skyline or the sun setting over the Manhattan bridge but nothing beat an entire room dedicated to just art. Molding kids minds too was just an added bonus. Zayn knew that music and gym class ruled the camp but if he touched just one student with his knowledge, he did something right. Rebecca had grown on him too, she was quiet and kept to herself but she was a perfect partner. Her knowledge was endless and she truly cared about teaching these kids. It was also good to see his sisters once a day and to see how they were enjoying their experience at the camp. 

Friday rolled around and Zayn had to literally drag his feet to the mess hall. Louis deciding against his morning run, forcing Niall and Zayn with him to have one last real camp day. They arrived at the mess hall just a little past seven and it was jammed. Everyone at the camp had the same idea as Louis. Ed and Rebecca were serving the endless crowd effortlessly, use to the sheer volume of people by now. Zayn grabbed coffee for himself before sitting in his usual seat, Niall and Louis next to him. They were obviously waiting for Liam and Harry. Liam. Zayn had been ignoring him all week. They'd seen each other in passing, there wasn't anyway to completely ignore him. Zayn didn't want to push him away but he had no other choice. Camp was literally ending in a day, the summer romance had to end with it. No summer romances made it past the summer, why were they going to be the exception to the rule. 

"Gentlemen," Harry greeted them as he and Liam sat across from the boys. "Tonight we say goodbye the adult way."

"Do I wanna know?" Zayn asked and raised his eyebrows at Harry. 

"You didn't tell him!" Harry exclaimed and playfully slapped Liam's shoulder. "This one, I tell you, no fun."

"Just spit it out, Haz," Liam told him with an eye roll. "Breakfast only lasts another twenty minutes."

"Rude," Harry huffed and smiled over at Liam. "Tonight is the counselors going away  
party. Ed and Calvin are hosting it. Same like earlier this summer, once Simon is asleep, let the fun begin."

"You going?" Zayn asked Liam, the first time all week they'd actually spoken. Zayn bit down on his bottom lip as he looked over at the boy. This was supposed to be easy, seeing Liam. He wasn't supposed to feel overwhelmed every time he still saw him. 

"Y-yea," he answered uneasily. He began to play with the watch he was wearing, an obvious tell of his nerves. "I'm not coming back next year so why not? Have a proper farewell with all my friends."

"Brilliant," Niall agreed and slammed his hands on the table. "So it's settled, we all sneak to Ed and Cal's cabin and get fucking smashed."

"Easy," Louis laughed at the blonde. "Don't you and Ed have something planned for the show tomorrow?"

"Shit," Niall cursed with a wince. "So I won't get completely smashed. God, Lou, way to ruin a perfectly good night." 

"You're welcome," he teased, running a hand through Niall's hair, purposely messing it up. 

"Let's go Lou," Harry said. "Neither of us got out morning workout in, I don't need to be lazy on our last day."

Louis rolled his eyes at Harry's jolly attitude but stood up alongside him. "Gentlemen enjoy your day and I will see you all tonight for dinner and then drinks." 

Niall soon followed Louis and Harry out the mess hall, telling Liam he would set up  
the music room for the day. That clearly left Zayn and Liam alone. Zayn just stared into his coffee cup, not knowing how to start a conversation. The tension between them was palpable, even in the crowded mess hall. Ed yelled out last call for breakfast as students and counselors alike ran up to grab the last remaining food. Liam played with the styrofoam that Zayn had ripped off his cup, doing anything to occupy his mind and hands. He gave Zayn a lopsided smile, something to grab his attention. Zayn returned the smile, not knowing what else to do. This was it, this was the last time they'd have any time alone.

"I-I'll see you at the party tonight?" Zayn asked, collecting the discarded styrofoam as he stood up. 

Liam looked up at Zayn, his eyes wide. This was the conversation they were going to have? "Yea. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good," he agreed with a tight nod of his head. "I'll see you later Li, enjoy your last day."

"You too," Liam replied, bewildered by the exchange they just had. 

*****

"Look alive, Malik," Louis called to Zayn as they walked as quietly as possible to Ed and Calvin's cabin. He stopped walking momentarily to laugh at himself. "I said the same thing to you during the last counselors party."

"You're hysterical Lou, honestly," he replied dryly and ruffled Louis hair. 

"Can you at least pretend to be excited for the party?" Louis asked as the continued their trek. "Our summer is over and neither of us ended up dead or in jail, I see that as a success."

"I'd like to see you dead," Zayn muttered under his breath and smiled wide at Louis when he narrowed his eyes at him. "Let's just hurry up and get this over with."

"Such a party animal," Louis snorted. 

Both boys entered the cabin, Louis immediately spotting Harry and made his way towards him. Zayn lingered by the door a little longer, scoping out the room. Like the party earlier in the summer, everyone was squished together in the tiny cabin. Calvin and Ed were walking around, drinks in their hands as they played host. Rebecca was standing by the bathroom taking to Sophia. Louis had his arm wrapped around Harry's waist as they spoke to Niall. This was it, this was the goodbye party for all the counselors. In two days time he'd be away from this place and back to his real life in New York. No more waking up to Niall's infectious laugh or Louis groaning in pain after his morning run. Everything was going to be back to normal, whatever normal was to Zayn now.

 

He was a little shocked that Liam wasn't at the party yet. He said he was going to be there, so where was he? A small part of Zayn hoped he wasn't going to show. He didn't want to say goodbye to him, not yet and not here. He didn't want to have their inevitable break up in public, make it seem like he was a coward. Zayn had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach each time he thought about breaking up with Liam. It was going to suck, plain and simple. It was just something he had to do though. He couldn't go back to New York knowing that Liam was still in Connecticut and holding out hope for their relationship. It was a summer romance and by tomorrow night, summer was over. He had to suck it up and swallow his pride, even when it killed him to think about it. 

"H-hey Liam," Zayn greeted him when he eventually showed up. Zayn had to take a deep breath to calm him nerves, he could feel the bile rising in his throat, this night was not going to end well. 

"You okay?" Liam asked, noticing the obviousness uneasiness in Zayn. It was so unlike the person Liam had grown to know about. The person who just shrugged things off was now clearly tense. "You seem a bit off."

"I'm f-fine," he stuttered his reply and smiled weakly over at Liam. "Just taking it all in before having to say goodbye is all."

"It's a bit surreal," Liam noticed. "Leaving this all behind for good. Spent the best days  
of my life here."

"Must be hard," Zayn agreed with a quick nod of his head.

"Leaving people behind is hard," Liam told him, glancing over at Zayn who was biting his lip and slowly nodding to either what he was saying or whatever music was playing lowly in the background. "Sometimes you get lucky and those people stick with you even after you're gone."

"Yea, sometimes," Zayn scoffed at Liam's attempt at being subtle. "Like Niall?"

"Like Niall," Liam agreed with a laugh as he looked for his blonde friend in the crowd. He was where Liam expected him to be, in the middle of the crowd drawing attention to  
himself. He had a beer in one hand and the other was thrown around Ed's shoulder, gesturing enthusiastically. 

"Excited for the talent show tomorrow?" Zayn asked. He knew he was being childish, avoiding the actual conversation they needed to have. It was painful though. Seeing Liam look all happy and warm like he usually was. He didn't need Zayn to be an ass, at least not now. 

"You're going, right?" He asked to which Zayn nodded his head yes to. "Good, good. There's a surprise I want you to see. I'm closing the show."

"How's my favorite couple doing?" Louis asked as he made his way to the pair. "After Haz and I, of course."

"We're good, Lou. Just talking about the talent show tomorrow," Liam informed him and placed his hand on Louis waist to keep him from falling over. "You okay? Had too much to drink?"

"I'm fine," Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes while looking over at Zayn. "What's your  
problem, Malik?"

"I'm fine, Lou," he told him firmly, jaw clenched tight. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Someone to be with?"

Louis stood up straight, shaking Liam's hand off his waist. He stood his ground and just looked directly at Zayn. It was clear by Louis expression that he was offended by his friends tone of voice. "You are such a party pooper."

"Bye," Zayn waved him off with a quick flick of his wrist. 

"Bye," Louis grumbled and purposely stomped away, heading directly towards Harry who walked out of the bathroom moments before. 

"Let's go," Liam told Zayn and yanked his arm to follow him.

Zayn let out a huff as he followed Liam's lead outside. It was quieter outside, the crickets chirping around the grass and trees, it was a peaceful summer night. The slight breeze was actually cooling for once, probably the first time all summer really. Liam continued walking until he was seated at the steps of the cabin next to Ed and Calvin's. Zayn sighed before taking a seat next to Liam. It stayed silent between them, the voices from next door and nature just filling up whatever neither of them were saying. 

"You've been cold all week," Liam finally broke the silence. He took Zayn's left hand that  
was casually resting on his knee. "To me, Louis, Harry, and Niall. What gives?"

"I'm not doing this," Zayn shook his head. "I'm not having you try to psychoanalyze me right now, nope."

"Babe."

Zayn sat in silence for a moment, just taking everything all in. The beautiful night, the boy holding his hand like it was his job, like he was made to hold his hand. It was shame really, that it all had to come to an end. 

"You're breaking up with me," Liam spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"Li-Liam," Zayn struggled to let out. His name felt so heavy in his mouth, so foreign all of a sudden.

"I'm not as stupid as people think I am," he scoffed. "I usually can read people really well, or so I thought. Then I met you and you were such a mystery to me."

"Liam."

Liam looked over at Zayn and shook his head, letting him know that he wasn't done speaking. "I liked you, still do. Did I expect a grand romance? No, not really, not here anyway. I thought we'd beat the odds though. Obviously I was wrong."

"Liam," Zayn repeated. "I-I don't want to hurt you."

"It's fine, Zayn," he was quick to assure him. "A summer romance coming to an end, no big deal, right?"

Zayn sat silent for a while, not knowing to react to Liam's callousness. He ended up doing all the dirty work for Zayn, ending it all before he even had a real chance to speak. Why did it hurt more now that Liam was the one to end it? The butterflies he always felt in his stomach now felt like hot led, a sinking feeling in his gut. "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Liam replied and slowly let go of Zayn's hand. He let out a sigh before standing up, stretching his arms above his head. "If I don't see you during the show tomorrow, have a good rest of the summer. Umm, I guess have a good life too."

"Li-Liam."

"Bye Zayn," Liam whispered to him and kissed his forehead, his lips lingering over him for a quick moment. 

*****

"You're an asshole."

"What!" Zayn shouted. 

Louis plopped himself next to Zayn at the talent show early the next afternoon. After his hurtful breakup with Liam the night before Zayn had left that party and went directly to bed. Niall and Louis were still asleep when he woke up, so he went for a walk around the grounds to clear his mind before ending up in the makeshift auditorium for the talent show.

"You're an asshole," Louis repeated slowly. "I heard about you and Liam."

"From?" Zayn asked, eyebrow raised. 

"Harry," he replied casually. "Li kept him up all last night so they could talk about their  
feelings."

"Great," he groaned with an eye roll. "Now I'm a part of camp gossip, perfect."

"It's not gossip if it's true," Louis smugly reminded him.

"Oh and by the way, Liam broke up with me," Zayn told him and smiled as the smug look was erased from his friends face. "Exactly."

"That was unexpected," Louis realized, still amazed at what Zayn had told him. He looked over at his friend and tried to offer him a smile, something to show him his support. "Yo-you wanted it to happen though, so, it can't be that bad."

"But somehow I still look like the bad guy," Zayn shrugged his shoulders. "Making poor, innocent Liam break up with me. Whatever. What's done is done and after tomorrow we never need to see this place ever again."

Louis gave Zayn a supportive pat on the back as silence fell between them. It was hard to console someone who refused it. Zayn was just so hard headed and stubborn, never letting anyone fully in to help him when he needed it the most. It frustrated Louis, his best friend was obviously hurt but he just didn't want to budge, open up and explain what he was feeling. They continued to sit in silence as Harry finally joined them, not really speaking to Zayn. Harry wanted to be a neutral third party in the break up but it was clear to Zayn and even Louis that he was going to chose Liam each and every time. Zayn was fine with it, it just showed that Harry was a decent person, choosing to believe his best friend over someone he barley even knew. Louis had actually found a decent person to call his boyfriend, it was about time honestly. 

The talent show started, Ed and Niall opening the show. They showed off their impressive guitar skills with a battle between the two of them. It was a good way to kick off the show. Zayn kept scanning the crowd, he saw his sisters up in front sitting with their friends, giggling and whispering as people performed up on stage. He was actually looking for Liam. He was supposed to perform, close the show, so he needed to be there, somewhere. After Niall and Ed, Zayn kind of lost track of the other performances. Some people sang, some danced, all of it was a blur to him. They were all probably extraordinary and put on a great show but none of them grabbed his attention. None of them were Liam. 

Somewhere during the middle of the show Niall found an empty seat next to Zayn. He gave him a smile as a greeting as Zayn realized that this show seemed like it was never going to end. He was never going to see Liam's surprise performance. He was getting a little restless, just sitting there and waiting. Harry and Louis were quietly talking next to him, Niall reaching over him to join the conversation. Twenty minutes or so later Simon stood up on the stage and gave a little speech about how this year was one of the best in camp record. Zayn may have zoned out a little during the speech. That was until he saw his youngest sister, Safaa, walk on the stage. She looked so confident and poised as she sat behind the piano that was sitting on the stage. All conversations around Zayn stopped as his friends looked over at him, just as confused as he was. 

"Did you know about this?" Louis asked as he pointed to the stage. 

"I had no idea," he replied with a shake of his head. "I didn't even know she knew how to play."

As soon as the words fell out of Zayn's mouth Liam walked out on stage and sat next to Safaa on the piano bench. Now he was even more confused. This was the surprise? He was going to close out the show playing a song on the piano with his little sister. 

"Li took it upon himself to teach her how to play a song, kind of like rehab for her wrist," Niall explained. "Lucy okayed it all about two weeks ago."

Zayn nodded his head as his eyes remained glued to the stage. This was the surprise and it was amazing. Liam knew how much Safaa was suffering after her injury, she hated being kept on the sideline while everyone got to enjoy the full camp experience. Liam knew that because he listened, he cared. It just made Zayn feel even worse than he already did. In a small way he knew Liam did this for him too. The crowd finally quieted down so the performance could begin. With a shy smile and a sigh escaping her lips Safaa began to play. She was good, not anywhere near perfect, but good for someone who had never played before. Liam helped fill in the spots where she clearly was getting lost. The song sounded so familiar though, Zayn knew he had heard it before but couldn't place his finger on it. 

"Fleetwood Mac," Harry answered for him. "Songbird."

"Holy shit," Louis muttered under his breath, hitting Zayn's thigh with the back of his hand. "Still don't feel like an asshole, Malik?"

"And I wish you all the love in the world. But most of all, I wish it from myself," Harry sang softly along to the instrumental music. 

"Shit," Zayn cursed, sighing. 

"You fucked up," Louis realized with a laugh. "Like big time."

Zayn looked over at his friend and nodded, not knowing how to communicate how much he now knew that he messed up. He couldn't even focus on the amazing job his sister was doing. All he could pay attention to was the lyrics of the song that wasn't even being sung. Harry continued to lowly sing along to the piano until the song ended. Even in his bewildered state, Zayn was the first on his feet once the performance was over. Harry, Louis, and Niall joined him in their applause shortly after. Safaa beamed with pride as she bowed and returned to her seat, giving Liam a quick hug before doing so. Liam stayed on stage and bowed his head in thanks, his eyes quickly finding Zayn's. The wordless communication between them spoke volumes, Zayn knew Liam had prepared this performance when things were still good between them, when things were simpler and made sense. Now things were over and filled with endless confusion. 

*****

"Bonfire, bonfire, bonfire!" Niall chanted as he threw his clothes in his oversized duffle bag that laid on his bed. 

"We gotta hurry up, Niall. Haz is saving us a prime spot," Louis told him. "Zayn that means you too."

"I'm not going," Zayn said, carefully folding all his clothes and lying them on the bed. 

"You're not going!" Niall exclaimed, offended by Zayn's words. "You-you have to go. It's the end of the summer bonfire."

"I'm not going," Zayn repeated slowly enough for Niall to comprehend. "I have to finish packing."

Louis groaned from where he sat on his bed. With a roll of his eyes he stood up and walked the few feet to where Zayn stood. Without a word, Louis went through the dresser draws and balled up all of Zayn's clothes and tossed them into his bag. "Now you're done."

"Lou," Zayn said, exasperated. He took all the clothes out of the bag and shook them  
out, hoping they wouldn't wrinkle. 

"You're not going to stay in here all night while the rest of us enjoy our last night here," Louis bluntly told him as Niall nodded his head in agreement. 

"I don't feel up for celebrating," he replied. "Go. Have fun without me, don't get too drunk and don't be too loud when you get back in."

"Seriously?" Niall gawked. He looked over at Louis who was wearing the same expression as him, eyes wide and mouth hung open in horror. "But Zayn, it's the last night and it won't be the same without you."

"You'll have fun without me there," he assured them, still folding his clothes  
carefully. He may have folded the same shirt a few times to make himself look busy. He really under packed for the summer. "Tell Hazza I said that it was nice meeting him."

"And Liam?" Louis asked, eyebrows raising as he spoke.

"Goodbye," Zayn pushed Louis and Niall out the room. "Don't want to miss the prime spot Haz saved for you."

Zayn continued to occupy himself as Louis and Niall finally left. He didn't want to come off as rude but he didn't feel up to spending one last night with everyone, especially after the talent show. After the show was officially over, Zayn left the room and went directly back to his bunk. Niall and Louis were trailing close behind him. Harry stayed behind to wait for Liam. The three of them moved out the room in silence, Niall and Louis's eyes never leaving Zayn as he walked around the room collecting his things to pack away. The air was thick with tension, no one knew what to say. It was obvious but also so foreign. Liam had laid his heart out for the whole camp to witness while Zayn just callously walked away. And Liam dragged his little sister into this whole thing too! Nope, Zayn wouldn't be caught dead at that bonfire right now. Not after today. 

The eerie silence in the bunk was more than welcomed. The whole camp was down at the lake having their one last goodbye before it was all gone in the morning. Zayn wanted to go to sleep right away so he could wake up early, grab Louis and his sisters and head back to New York, back to normal. He couldn't wait to see the camp in the rearview mirror, never having to step foot on the sight ever again. He should've just stayed home all summer like he planned on doing. If he did he would've never met Liam and now he had to carry this feeling around with him. This feeling of emptiness, like something was torn away from him but he couldn't quite figure out what. He never had this feeling before, not even when Jay dumped him before prom. It stung but it didn't feel like death. Zayn had to shake it off like he did so many times before. Like Louis always told him, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

"You're not at the bonfire."

Zayn groaned at the sound of the voice and dropped his head as he sat on his bed just doodling in his sketch book. "Neither are you Liam."

"I wanted to say goodbye," he replied and tentatively walked towards the bed. "Properly."

"We already had our goodbye," Zayn remembered, slowly lifting his head to meet Liam's gaze. It still had this unworldly affect on him, made his stomach do flips. 

"That's not how we're supposed to end," Liam told him and sat by Zayn's feet on the bed. 

"You broke up with me, remember?" Zayn said, closing the book and placing it on his lap. "It was only yesterday."

"You were gonna break up with me. Or was I just imagining things?" He asked, a small smile on his face. 

"I'm not doing this," he told him bluntly. "I'm not going to rehash our summer just so you can leave tomorrow feeling good about yourself."

"Is that what you think I wanna do?" Liam asked, baffled. "You really think I want you to feel just as bad as I do. If that's the case then you never really knew me, Zayn."

"Oh, but I do. I know you Liam Payne," Zayn smugly replied. 

"You're hurt and angry and you're taking it out on me," Liam noticed. "If this somehow makes you feel better in the end, fine. Be an ass."

Zayn looked over at Liam and just shook his head. This was the second time in as many days where he was alone with Liam and things ended up not going right. He was hurt and angry, that was more than true. He never expected to come to camp over two months ago and find someone who would get under his skin so fast. Zayn swore that he could've loved Liam if they met in a different circumstance, maybe at school or at a party. This wasn't how his summer was supposed to go, he was supposed to come to camp teach and earn a few dollars. It just seemed a whole lot easier only two months ago. 

"I-I'm gonna go," Liam broke the silence. "Obviously things aren't going to be sorted out  
here tonight."

"I am sorry Liam," he told him. "Honestly."

"I know you are," he nodded his head as he stood up. Liam looked around the room, unsure if he really wanted to leave. "Maybe if things were different we could've worked  
out, yea?"

"Yea," Zayn replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "You're a good guy, Liam. Hopefully you'll find someone who treats you as such."

Liam smiled at Zayn's compliment, the same smile that caught Zayn's eyes all those  
weeks ago. The sincere smile that caused the cutest little crinkles by his eyes. "Whoever ends up seeing the real you is gonna be a lucky guy. Just don't push them away when they start breaking down your walls. Some people are worth being vulnerable for."

*****

The last week of normalcy was exactly what Zayn needed. He got back home on Sunday afternoon and vowed not to leave his bed until school started the next Monday. His parents tried to pry as much information out of him as possible but he didn't budge. He muttered something about having a good time and went straight to his room. His mother cooked him his favorite meal his first night back but he hardly ate, not really having an appetite. It was obvious to everyone that something was off, something had definitely happened to Zayn. Donyia tried to talk to him but he just wouldn't open up, keeping everything to himself. Louis stopped by more than once but Zayn refused to see him, just locked himself in his room. He didn't even unpack, just kept the duffle bag lying on the floor at the foot of his bed. 

He was finally having the summer he intended to have in the first place. Staying in his room only to emerge to eat and shower. It was more than ideal to him. By Friday afternoon he finally caved and spoke to Louis, being cooped up in your room surprisingly did get a little bit lonely. Louis took that as an invitation to invite himself over,  
shockingly. He didn't say much, didn't say anything actually. Just sat next to Zayn in his bed and looked up at the ceiling. The two of them just laid there in complete silence, the music in Zayn's room being the only noise. Fleetwood Mac was playing on low, it was the only thing Zayn would listen to since he got back. Rumours was an album he'd had always owned but now more than ever he was determined to play it until it broke. It reminded him so much of Liam, so much of what he was feeling. 

"I'm heading to Connecticut this afternoon," Louis finally broke the silence. Lindsey Buckingham pouring his heart out around them. "I'll be back Sunday night."

"Okay," Zayn nodded, finally looking over as Louis spoke. 

"Niall is driving down from Boston," he added, trying to be as casual as possible. Everyone knew that Louis Tomlinson was anything but casual. "You know Liam's birthday is tomorrow."

"I know," he quickly responded, his jaw clenched tight. 

"You should come," Louis suggested. He knew his words were either going to be met with complete silence or a groan in disagreement. He never expected that Zayn would immediately go stiff next to him, completely rigid. "Or not."

"You know I can't," Zayn finally spoke after calming himself down by taking a few deep breaths. 

"You can," Louis corrected. "You just chose not to. Have you even spoken to Liam since you left?"

Zany scoffed at Louis and failed at dodging Louis hands as they ruffled his already messed up hair. "No. Lou, stop asking questions you know the answers to."

"Haz said Li isn't doing any better," Louis offered. Obviously that wasn't something Zayn wanted to hear because his features spoke the truth. His half smile turned into a frown and his brow furrowed, sharp lines appearing between his eyes. "My goal is to get him drunk for his twenty first seeing Ni and Harry aren't old enough to, yet."

Zayn sighed and nodded into the pillow that was resting behind his head. The thought of Liam feeling just as miserable as him shouldn't have been such a hard thing for him to hear. He didn't take any comfort in the news, far from it. It hurt honestly, knowing that Liam was probably feeling and acting just like he was. It made Zayn chuckle a little, picturing Harry and Liam in the same position as he and Louis right now. Lying on a twin sized bed, hardly enough room for two grown adults, no words being exchanged between the two. Just complete silence while music blared through the speakers. All Zayn really needed was Louis and his presence, it had gotten him through so much already in his life. 

"I can't believe you're not going to spend your last free weekend with me," Louis huffed, hating the silence. Louis was never one for awkward moments, a witty comment was always hanging on his lips, begging to be spoken. "I am aghast."

"I just spent the last two months with you," Zayn reminded him with a snort escaping his lips. "You were literally no more than five feet away from me at least eighteen hours of the day."

"Best two months of your life," Louis told him with a laugh. "Don't you forget that."

"Never," he agreed, shaking his head best as possible to get the hair out of his eyes. "You're my bro, Lou."

"And don't you forget that," Louis reminded him, shuffling closer to Zayn to plant a loud smacking kiss to his forehead. "I need to get going. Beat the Labor Day traffic and all. There's a three thirty train if you change your mind."

"Lou."

"And a five fifty, and a six twenty five," Louis continued to rattle off as he rolled off the bed with a loud thump as he met the hardwood floor. He stood up, acting like falling was all part of his master plan, fixed his shirt and smiled down at Zayn. "Last train is eleven twenty, if you wanted to know."

"I don't," Zayn growled. "Go have fun Lou. Tell Ni and Haz I said hi."

"And Liam?" He asked, cheeky grin on his face and a raised eyebrow.

"Bye Louis," Zayn responded, weakly raising his hand to wave. 

*****

Zayn couldn't take it anymore, the constant waiting for something to happen. It was  
all Louis fault actually, letting him know about the train departure times. He wasn't going to go even though every part of his body craved it. Craved to be around his new friends, celebrating one of their birthdays. It had been less than a week since he'd last seen them but in all honesty, Zayn missed them. Missed Niall's light snoring as he slept a few feet away from him, his cheery personality. He took everything that came to him as a new, fresh experience. He missed Harry's excitement, even though he never expressed it well. His eyes spoke for him though, always wide and amazed at everything around him. Or how his eyes would automatically go soft when Louis was around him, Zayn was so glad that they both found each other. Maybe those crazy kids could work it out after  
all. 

Zayn didn't even want to think of Liam and what he missed about him. His brain was going to go there anyway. Just the mere thought of Liam made his chest feel tight with anger. He was angry at himself for just letting Liam go without any fight. He thought it was all supposed to be painless, a summer romance that burned too fast, too bright, and had to eventually crash. That's how movies and TV shows always shown it. But their relationship was nothing like that. It was built on the foundation of trust and mutual respect. Zayn could never forget the things they whispered to each other in the dark, words for just the two of them to know. Lying tangled together in either one of their beds  
while their bunk mates were out and giving them their well deserved privacy.

 

It wasn't supposed to happen like this, him and Liam. He wasn't even supposed to even care about Liam anymore. They broke up, it was over and done with. With a heavy sigh escaping his lips Zayn got up and decided to get dressed, out of his more than likely rank smelling clothes he'd been wearing since he got home. Maybe if he left for a while, walk around Brooklyn to clear his head. He grabbed his keys and headphones before yelling to his parents that he'd be back. Yea, maybe leaving his room for a while would be a good idea. Feeling ambitious Zayn walked the mile to the Brooklyn Bridge and a long walk later he found himself in Manhattan. He aimlessly walked through China Town and Little Italy before deciding to head back home. 

The walk was exactly what he needed. It cleared his mind of everything that was weighing heavy on him. The humid and sticky air of a New York summer day was just what he wanted to feel. Taking in the sights of a city he called home helped erase the ones he grown accustomed to back in Connecticut. A tree was just a tree, it was no longer a place to hide behind so he could kiss Liam slowly without anyone noticing. A  
movie theater was just that, a place that played movies. It wasn't where he and Liam had their first date. Everything just started to make sense again, slowly. Maybe being home wasn't so bad after all, he was starting his last year of college in mere days. Zayn had other things that needed to occupy his time and mind. When he finally got home he went directly back to his room. Unfortunately it wasn't as empty as it was when he left. His other sister, Doniya was sitting on his bed, a wide smile on her face. 

"D," he groaned and hesitantly made his way over to the bed. "Get out."

"Who's Liam?" She casually asked, her smile never leaving her face.

"Li-Liam? No-no one," Zayn stammered, his mouth obviously wanting him to be more than easy to read. With a sigh he sat next to his sister and rolled his eyes as her smile grew wider. "How do you know about Liam?"

"The beauty of being the oldest," she laughed. "Wali and Saf sold you out so fast."

"Traitors," he laughed. 

"Is that why you've been locked up here since you got home?" She asked and scooted further up the bed to rest against the headboard, making room for Zayn. "Because of Liam. Z, what happened?"

"How much did the weasels tell you?" He asked her. Zayn kicked off his shoes before joining his sister at the head of the bed. 

"Saf mentioned her wrist injury and how I think she said, Harry, helped her. Liam was mentioned shortly after that and then they both started to giggle and whisper. Dead giveaway," Doniya laughed. "They could never be secret spies, let me tell you."

"Do mom and dad know?" Zayn asked, biting at his bottom lip in worry.

"No," she was quick to assure him. "All they know was that there was some boy you liked. I on the other hand need all the details on him."

"It's nothing," he waved off her inquiry. "He's nobody."

"Nobody who's got you locked up in your room listening to Fleetwood Mac on repeat and refusing to see Tommo," Doniya explained. "Yea, okay. Spill."

"We dated," he began with a sigh and shook his head as his sister laughed and clapped in excitement next to him. "We broke up the day before camp ended. It was a summer romance, you know? It ran its course."

"Obviously not," she snorted. "You're still crushing on him. Honestly, why'd you break up?"

"I-I couldn't take the distance," he answered. Zayn closed his eyes briefly, trying to suppress all the emotions he was feeling. "I'm a shitty boyfriend, D. That's why Jay didn't stay, I-I couldn't do that to Liam."

"Babe, you're not eighteen anymore and Liam isn't Jay," she reminded him. "Why not give it a chance?"

"It's too late now," he scoffed, turning to face his sister. Her smile was still wide but her eyes now showed her worry for him. "I screwed it all up."

"You don't know that," she told him. "Did he ever tell you or show you that there wasn't any hope left for the two of you."

"No."

"So," she said, poking his side as she spoke. "At least think about it Z. What's the worse that could happen, really?"

*****  
Zayn hated his sister, Louis too. He was supposed to be enjoying his last weekend of  
freedom, not constantly worrying about his failed relationship. Their words kept replaying over and over in his head, encouraging him not to give up. Why did he give up? Why did he throw away the one thing that truly made him happy? He used the age old excuse of distance and a summer romance, but what was the real truth. Zayn knew that he was afraid, afraid of letting Liam in fully. It was scary, simple as that. He wished he had Louis courage, just jump into things headfirst and deal with the consequences later. Just go with the flow. It was obviously easier said than done. Liam deserved better, Zayn deserved better. Maybe seeing Liam again and properly talking to him could solve all his problems. Or it could bring up some more. 

With shaky hands Zayn texted Louis for all the details about where in Connecticut he was. That was it, Zayn had made up his mind. He was going to Connecticut to see Liam. Before he could even put his phone down Louis replied, in all caps, the specifics of where he was and what train to take. Without even explaining much to his parents, Zayn grabbed the duffle bag he had yet to unpack and headed out the door. It was now or never. He finally had a shot of courage and he was going to run with it. He was going to catch a eight o'clock train that would get him to Connecticut but ten. Louis said he would pick him up, giving the other boys some excuse. He wanted it to remain a secret, even from Harry. Zayn now had the next two hours to psyche himself up, prepare himself. 

Halfway through his trip he immediately regretted getting on the train. What was he thinking? Why did he think this plan would work? He wasn't living in some romantic comedy, this was real life with real people and more than real feelings. He was out of his mind. This wasn't going to work, Liam would take one look at him and laugh. He was literally traveling over two hours to grovel at his feet, how pathetic. The feeling of worry and panic burnt in the pit of his stomach for the rest of the train ride. He was now feeling less than confident. The speech he prepared was now long forgotten, the worry taking over. His palms were sweaty and his mouth felt dry, this was such a bad idea. This was worse then bad, this plan was horrible. Was it too late to take a train back to New York where he could crawl under his covers and hide away? 

"Honestly, Malik," Louis sighed as Zayn made his way to the parking lot. "You look like shit."

"I-I gotta go home, Lou," he said in a panic. "This was a horrible mistake."

Louis grabbed the bag out of Zayn's hand and tossed it in the backseat. "You still want to be with Liam?"

"Yea," Zayn replied confidently, the first time he felt like that in days. 

"Then this wasn't a mistake," Louis told him as they got in the car. "You're mind is just running a mile a minute because you're letting it. Relax and you'll be fine."

"How can you be so sure that this wasn't a bad idea?" He asked, shaking his head at the even tone to his friends voice. That was one thing Zayn had always admired about Louis, he was always so confident, never apologizing for it. 

"Liam looked miserable when I arrived without you," Louis replied with a smirk. "It'll be fine Zayn, believe that."

The short car ride to the university campus was filled with so much anxiety. Zayn kept going back and forth with his emotions. One minute he was excited to see Liam and the other boys too. A second later he was back in panic mode. Louis just kept shaking his head but remained the supportive friend. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Zayn like this before, he knew just how to deal with it now. When the dorms came into his line of view, Zayn could feel his heart trying to beat out of his chest, he suddenly felt nauseous. This was such a bad, horrible idea. Louis had to literally drag him out of the car, like he was a child. This was going to end bad, Zayn could just feel it in his bones. 

"Grow up," Louis spat at him as they walked the little path to the dorm rooms. "You're worse than our sisters right now. The twins probably have more emotional maturity then you."

"Fuck off," Zayn hissed at him, dragging his feet as he walked. "This is huge for me  
Lou, huge."

Louis sighed as he stopped walking, waiting for Zayn to catch up to him. When he did Louis clapped him on the back with a secure hand. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready. No pressure, dude."

"No," he replied shakily. "I-I'm ready. Yea, yea, I'm ready."

"Then let's go!" Louis exclaimed. "All the boys are waiting for us in Harry's room, third  
floor."

Zayn felt like he was holding his breath as they walked up the stairs to Harry's dorm. It felt like everything was going in slow motion, nothing around him was real. He was dreaming, it wasn't a nightmare or a splendid dream, it was something in between. Even the sound of Louis hand knocking on the door felt surreal. He wasn't himself and Louis wasn't Louis. Maybe the lack of sleep the past couple of nights was finally catching up to him. 

"You're back!" Harry shouted once he threw open the door. "Zayn?"

"Zayn!" Niall exclaimed from somewhere inside the room. "You little fucker, you made it."

"Come in," Harry ushered them both into the room quickly. "The whole gang is back together now."

"Zayn?" Liam called out his name. Zayn wouldn't openly admit that hearing his voice call his name again almost brought him to tears. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Hi," he shyly greeted everyone, his voice almost getting lost in his throat. Despite everything that went on between him and Liam, these guys were his friends. Why was he so worried? 

"Why don't we head to the cafeteria and leave these two alone for a few," Harry suggested, grabbing his keys off the end table by the door. 

Zayn walked a little further into the room as Niall, Louis, and Harry left the room, left him alone with Liam. Neither of them said anything, just kept looking at each other. Liam was trying to preoccupy himself with his phone, but it was obvious from where Zayn was standing that he wasn't really looking at anything. His lips were turned down in a scowl that Zayn wanted to kiss away, wanted to make better. He couldn't though, that was no longer his place. Even though it had only been less than a week since he last saw Liam, Zayn noticed at how good he still looked. The tan he got over the summer making his skin glow, letting the tattoos on his arms stand out even more. Zayn subconsciously scratched at the heart tattoo on his hip as he looked Liam up and down. The air was palpable with tension, who was going to be the first one to break the silence?

Neither of them said anything as Zayn loudly swallowed and took a seat next to Liam on the couch. He kept starting ahead at the tv that was turned off, Liam still on his phone. He caught the sly glances Liam was trying to give him. The scowl on his face breaking into a half smile each time he looked over at Zayn. Maybe, just maybe that was a good sign. Zayn didn't know how to start a conversation, did he immediately dive in and start to grovel and beg for forgiveness? It was all too confusing. Maybe he should let Liam talk first and then take it from there, let him test the waters first. Of course Liam wasn't going to talk first, he did nothing wrong. This was all on Zayn, he needed to make everything right. He really wished that he could remember that speech he rehearsed on the train ride. 

"I can hear your brain overworking," Liam broke the silence with a laugh. "Just spit it out  
Zayn."

Zayn's eyes grew wide at Liam's laugh, he missed that. "I'm-I'm not over thinking."

"Yes you are," he told him and turned off his phone before placing it in his pocket. "You have those little creases between your eyes that tell me you are."

"No I don't," he protested. Feeling self conscious, Zayn raised his hand and sure enough he had creases between his brows. Damn Liam. "Okay, maybe I do."

"What's wrong?" Liam asked and turned his whole body to face Zayn, concern written all over his face. 

Zayn sighed and tried to distract himself with a lose string on the hem of his shirt. It was hard though, Liam was right in front of him being all warm and his breathtaking self. "I'm  
sorry."

"For?"

"Breaking up with you," he confessed, his voice low and his head still down. "Or making you break up with me because I was a coward. This wasn't how my summer was supposed to go."

"How was your summer supposed to go then?" Liam asked, his voice just as low as Zayn's. 

Zayn slowly raised his head and shrugged his shoulders and tried to give Liam a reassuring smile. It was hard though, all of this was hard. "Realistically? I was supposed to stay home all summer and do absolutely nothing. Maybe go to the beach once or twice, see Lou on the weekends. Normal things. But-"

"But that didn't happen," Liam finished for him. "Instead you went to the camp met new people and experienced new things that you now regret happened."

"What? No! Liam, that's not what I mean," Zayn was quick to correct him, his face aghast at what Liam was insinuating. Did he really think that what he felt? That none of the last two months meant anything to him. 

"Then what are you trying to say?" Liam asked, his face clearly showing how confused he was. Zayn swore he could hear the uptake in Liam's heartbeat, or maybe that was his. 

"This-this summer was amazing," he offered what little explanation he could. "Haz and Ni have become some of my best friends, even Ed and Rebecca, too."

"And me?"

Zayn watched as Liam's eyes went from bright and warm to lost and afraid in a matter of a blink of an eye. This was it, this was the moment Zayn could correct everything. This was the turning point for them. Too bad his words kept getting lost in his throat, he kept opening his mouth to speak but nothing would come out. His mind kept yelling at him, demanding him to say something, anything.

"Zayn? What about me?"

"You were the best part of my summer," he finally spoke, his eyes never leaving Liam's. "Honestly, Liam. Meeting you and having you a part of my life was the best thing that could've ever happened."

Liam's eyes spoke all he couldn't. His once afraid nature was now soft and endearing, his eyes now shining. The crinkles by his eyes, the ones Zayn grew to love, returned once he began to smile. A true, genuine smile. "Then why'd we break up?"

"I was a coward," he answered honestly. "I-I was afraid of you not being around me and what the distance would do to us."

"We can make it work," Liam promised him, taking a deep breath before reaching over to grab Zayn's hand. "I'm determined to make it work. If you are."

"I-I am," he stammered, the touch of Liam's skin on his again clouded his mind. It just felt right again, everything felt right again. "Things can't be this easy though, can  
they?"

"Zayn look at me," Liam told him, pressing his thumb into Zayn's palm. "You feel that? That's how easy this is. I'm not saying it'll all be a cake walk, no relationship is. But, I'm willing to try this out."

Zayn sat back on the couch, still gripping Liam's hand. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion around him, nothing was real. Here was Liam, a boy he was over the  
moon for, easily forgiving him for being afraid, no questions asked. He was no longer going to run away, frightened for what the future held. His future looked bright now, he was about to start his last year of college, make something of himself, hopefully, and now he had Liam by his side. 

"Babe," Liam called to him, still brightly smiling. "You zoned out for a bit. Everything  
okay?"

"Perfect," he answered with a sigh. "Just promise me that you won't run if I get too scared."

"I won't," he laughed and leaned in to kiss his cheek tenderly. "Just promise me that you'll tell me why you're running."

"Aww, Haz look our boys kissed and made up."

Liam laughed as Harry, Louis, and Niall walked back in the dorm room, food and drinks in their hands. It was clearly obvious to the three friends that they had interrupted a  
private moment between Zayn and Liam. Louis's face said it all though, he didn't care what he interrupted. He was more than happy that Zayn got his shit together. Niall shook his head as he laughed at Louis and his brash demeanor. Harry just continued to walk around his dorm, placing the food and drinks in his hands on the coffee table, in front of the two lovebirds. 

"Lou," Zayn groaned at his friend. 

"Just ignore us," Louis told him with a flick of his wrist as he purposely took a seat next to Zayn. "Pretend that we're not even here."

"You ended up getting the nachos?" Niall asked, plopping himself next to Liam and grabbing at the food on the table. "Sweet."

"Guys," Liam moaned. "We were kind of busy."

"We're not here," Harry reminded him, sitting on the floor between Louis feet. "Don't eat all the nachos Ni, I don't need your farts stinking up my room tonight."

"Hey!" Niall cried in protest. "I don't fart!"

"Yea, you do," Zayn reluctantly added to the conversation, rolling his eyes. "Hey three stooges, can you take this feast somewhere else? Liam and I were kind of having a moment before we were rudely interrupted."

Louis looked over at Liam and Zayn and smirked around a Twinkie hanging out of his mouth. He raised an eyebrow and laughed with a mouth full of food. "Oh  
really?"

"Really?" Harry asked, biting back a laugh. "We're all friends here, you can share."

"Yea," Niall agreed as he continued to scarf down the nachos.

"We're never going to be alone again, are we?" Zayn asked Liam as he shook his head, knowing the answer before even asking the question. "Lou, dude, can you not get crumbs all over the place!"

"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly, brushing thy crumbs off Zayn's shoulder. "The gangs all back together now. Like really back together, right?"

Liam scoffed at Louis attempt at being subtle. "Yea, we're really back together."

"Finally," Louis let out a sigh of relief. "I don't know much more of mopey Zayn I could take. Let me tell you Payno, good luck with this one."

"Ass," Zayn cursed and tried to kick Louis shin unsuccessfully. 

Niall reached past the half eaten nachos to grab the nearest drink and raised the no name can of soda in the air. "To the boys of summer and to Li and Zayn getting their shit together, finally."

"Here, here," Harry cheered, pumping his fist in the air. "Very eloquent Ni, kudos."

"This is my life," Zayn laughed in disbelief, shaking his head at the ruckus around him.

"You love it," Liam teased him, moving himself forward and closer to Zayn. "You wouldn't want it any other way."

"True," Zayn admitted. His hand was still holding Liam's from before as he moved his free one to Liam's shirt, pulling him in closer by the collar. "You ever gonna kiss me Payno?"

Liam raised an eyebrow at the question and smirked as he bridged the small gap between them. Usually he was grossed out by PDA, but right now Liam didn't care. He got his boy back and he didn't care who may object to kissing him in public. When their lips finally touched it was all the cliché emotions that began to run through Liam. He heard angels sing and fireworks were going off somewhere in the background. Talk about a great start to his birthday weekend. Zayn felt it too, even though he would still vaguely feel Louis breathing down his neck. Harry was trying to untie his shoe and he thought it may be Niall's hand caressing the back of his hand, the one that was holding Liam's. Either way it didn't matter, Liam was his again and everything was right in the world again. 

"Okay, enough you two," Louis cried and pulled them apart. "We can't have this happen  
all weekend. We are here to celebrate Liam's birthday not marvel over who can hold their breath the longest."

"Jealous?" Zayn asked. 

"You really ate all the nachos?" Liam asked Niall. "Dude, party foul."

"I can always get more," he offered. 

"No!" Harry exclaimed. "No more nachos, no more making out. Bro bonding time, let me all kick your ass in FIFA now."

"Yea, okay," Louis snorted with an eye roll. "Beat me in FIFA? Ha! Hilarious."

"Yep," Zayn nodded to himself. "This is exactly how I wanted my summer to be."


End file.
